My father doesn’t want to use a cane but it might be time. Family is opposing the use of a cane. Any advice?

My mom refused a cane and walker right up until she fell a few times and it hurt. That changed her mind quickly. We left both available for her...she eventually started using them..

I agree, ask his doctor for an order for a therapist to evaluate him. Sounds like he may not be picking his feet up. The first time he fell, I would say no more walking until u use something.

This is how I feel about canes. They are only good if one leg is the problem. And like said, he would need to be shown how to use it properly. Most people don't. If both legs are involved, then a walker is needed. And that too needs someone to show the person the proper way to use it. My Mom went thru therapy 2x with the same walker. No adjustment the first time, but there was the second. They made it higher.

My own experience with family elders is that a cane is far less beneficial than a walker, though the canes with four prongs at the bottom that can stand alone are better than the simple walking sticks. I hired a walker for MIL for a particularly difficult time, after she had refused it for months and months. After 3 months hire, she loved it and insisted that I bought that particular walker from the hire company because she didn’t want to let it go. The hire company was very happy to sell it because it had no adjustments and was only suitable for someone as short as MIL.

Could you find a lovely walking path that is really only safe with a walker, and hire one as a special treat so that he can go down that path? The walk needs a rest part-way along, and the walkers have a seat that he can use, etc etc. Use that as an introduction? I wouldn’t fight the good fight over a cane, only to have to repeat it for a walker.

Wold he go for a walking stick or something instead of a cane? The word cane just has negative conotations I think.

Dad can choose not to use a cane. And you can (should) choose to not be Dad’s human replacement for a cane. If you allow Dad to develop the “adult child in lieu of assistive device” routine.... one false move and you’re both on the ground. Then what?

My dad had to bite the dust multiple times before he could get past the vanity of using a cane.

Now he says he uses it for self protection, so true, just a different perspective on self protection 😀

Hate to say this, but if he’s going to fall, he’ll fall. And if he doesn’t want to use a cane, he’ll fall and blame the cane.

If his doctor can talk him into trying a balance class, and he likes the idea, he might enjoy it and enjoy being with other people his age. Or might think the idea was terrible.

And this-if a walk is “happy” and he enjoys walking with you, you may wind up spoiling walking by going at him to hard about the cane.

And also- to be of any help, a cane needs to be used correctly and consistently and if you happen to be a physical or occupational therapist you would know what he should be doing but if not, or if he just agrees to use the cane and doesn’t know how or why, he may develop habits that will have to be broken if he arrives at a point when he MUST use a cane.

Your intention is excellent. Unfortunately, he’s not into buying it. Your stress comes from your love for him. See if you can find a (sneaky if necessary) way to enlist the help of his physician and get his gait and walk assessed formally. May work well for both of you.

Maybe he would benefit from an eval from a physical therapist. They can assess why he is off balance and tripping, and give him some things to work on. I've seen a lot of success with this, but he'd have to be willing to go. Usually you have to get a referral from his primary care physician if you want to go that route.

can you get him a stylish walking stick?