Oomezoome, my situation was pretty easy as my Dad was ready to sell the house and move into senior living. So what I was able to do was bring Dad over to the facility daily until his room was ready [it was being remodeled].
That way Dad when Dad moved in, everyone didn't look like strangers.
If you are allowed to bring Dad's furniture, try to set up bedroom the same way his bedroom was at home. That way, when he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees his furnishings in the same location it will give him peace. For my Dad, since I couldn't set up his bedroom totally the same, he always slept on the left side of the bed, so his nightstand went on the left, and so did his high-boy dresser. Dad had to learn a lot of new sounds which weren't familiar to him at night.
One thing I did which I probably shouldn't have, was buy Dad a new bedspread. Experts say to use the same one from home. Same towels and sheets if the facility doesn't provide them.
And if Dad wants to bring all of his books, or a collection, let him. For my Dad it was his books. He had like 200 books, I asked him to donate what he could, so he narrowed it down to 199. Thankfully all his bookcases fitted in his room.
One thing that you can do that will make it easier on YOU is to forget that this is going to be a "smooth transition" You can do everything the way "experts" say you should, you can set his room up as best you can. Bring in items that will make him feel at home. But he is still going to be upset, pissed, angry, will hate you and all the other things that he will be. And the next day he won't be upset, pissed, angry and hate you...then he will go through all that again. The rollercoaster of dementia. But... He will get used to his new home. He will be safe. He will have people that will care for him 24/7/365 AND... YOU will be able to be a caring daughter/son/ rather than a caregiver. YOU will have less to worry about day to day. BUT your job is not over. You still have to manage his care and sometimes that can be more difficult.
Obviously placing someone in Memory Care is not a spur of the moment decision, it is one that you must have thought long and hard about. Do not second guess yourself. This is for his safety, your safety and maybe even your sanity. Placing someone is not "giving up" it is accepting that his care is more than you can handle.
That way Dad when Dad moved in, everyone didn't look like strangers.
If you are allowed to bring Dad's furniture, try to set up bedroom the same way his bedroom was at home. That way, when he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees his furnishings in the same location it will give him peace. For my Dad, since I couldn't set up his bedroom totally the same, he always slept on the left side of the bed, so his nightstand went on the left, and so did his high-boy
dresser. Dad had to learn a lot of new sounds which weren't familiar to him at night.
One thing I did which I probably shouldn't have, was buy Dad a new bedspread. Experts say to use the same one from home. Same towels and sheets if the facility doesn't provide them.
And if Dad wants to bring all of his books, or a collection, let him. For my Dad it was his books. He had like 200 books, I asked him to donate what he could, so he narrowed it down to 199. Thankfully all his bookcases fitted in his room.
You can do everything the way "experts" say you should, you can set his room up as best you can. Bring in items that will make him feel at home.
But he is still going to be upset, pissed, angry, will hate you and all the other things that he will be. And the next day he won't be upset, pissed, angry and hate you...then he will go through all that again. The rollercoaster of dementia.
But...
He will get used to his new home.
He will be safe.
He will have people that will care for him 24/7/365
AND...
YOU will be able to be a caring daughter/son/ rather than a caregiver.
YOU will have less to worry about day to day. BUT your job is not over. You still have to manage his care and sometimes that can be more difficult.
Obviously placing someone in Memory Care is not a spur of the moment decision, it is one that you must have thought long and hard about. Do not second guess yourself. This is for his safety, your safety and maybe even your sanity. Placing someone is not "giving up" it is accepting that his care is more than you can handle.