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My mom's memory care manager called me this afternoon and mom has been experiencing some bladder issues, and she wanted me to bring some type of incontinence brief and adult wipes tomorrow. She said that she was experiencing some bladder leakage, not that she didnt go to the bathroom. She has mixed dementia, vascular and Alzheimer's based on Brian MRI, so I guess this is another step down that path. I asked about whether it could be a UTI, but says no signs of that, no extra frequency or pain.


When she was home with me, there were occasional problems, usually from maybe waiting too long, and then oh, I need to hurry and just not making it. She never wet the bed, but I would occasionally find a wet spot on the floor like she got up to go and was disoriented and didnt make it, and twice she actually peed in the trash can! ( haven't figured that one out yet)


So what I am trying to figure out is which product to get. I dont think the described problem requires any max absorbency right now if she just needs the protection of occasional leaks and waiting too long. But she really doesn't understand the degree of her memory problems (shevwas wearing her coat inside the other day when I video called her, and she told me that she had just gotten home from work), so I dont envy them getting her to wear it. She is SUPER finicky about her underwear, I know because I've had to go store to store shopping with her. It cant be too tight on waist, legs cant bind, must be cotton, not nylon.. Product cant be scented, she's sensitive to that kind of thing.
She's 5 1", 125 lbs, and does carry some weight in her stomach area. But she purposely buys size 9 underwear, granny style briefs, no bikini, no hip hugger. I weigh a 100 lbs more than her, and wear a size smaller. So I dont know how we are going to get a brief she wont think is tight, yet is snug enough to work properly.


For now at least I need to take them something available in stores; I've seen some positive reviews of a product called Willow, but it's only mail order.

Hi Gracie,

First let's talk about a UTI. There doesn't have to be extra frequency or pain, it's an infection that could only be verified by a urine test done by a lab. If your Mom has a UTI that could cause extra confusion, strange behavior, etc. It's a good idea to rule a UTI out.

As far as briefs, my Mom is 5'2 and weighs 121 pounds. I buy her either Depends or Always (Walmart sells them) and I buy her a size Medium. She is very happy with either one (the Always brand is prettier with a design where Depends is a beige color).

I suggest the size Medium based on your Mom's height and weight. And my Mom has a belly too and the Medium fits perfect in both brands.

Hope this helps,
Jenna
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shad250 Aug 19, 2020
Discreet Boutique?
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Based on your post, your mother is quite far along her dementia/ALZ journey and urinating in the trash can is a sign that she's unaware of where/what the toilet is all about. It's quite common too, as the disease progresses and won't necessarily be an all-the-time thing; the problem can come & go. It's amazing it's taken this long for incontinence issues to crop up, in reality. My mother was diagnosed with progressive dementia in 2016 and immediately began having incontinence issues which started out as 'waiting too long' to use the toilet. When she peed on the floor in the elevator going up to her apartment one day, that was IT and she began wearing briefs immediately thereafter.

Which disposable briefs are comfortable for your mother is an individual preference and one you'd have no way of knowing. What works for one may not work for another. I buy my mother Depends and she complains a lot about them, so I've tried other brands which she complains even MORE about. If/when she runs out, the Memory Care ALF supplies her with the brand they use, which she really hates. My point? Buy her whatever brand you'd like and the ALF will deal with the issues that crop up. She can't wear huge size disposable briefs or they will be very uncomfortable, not to mention they will not contain the urine and it will leak out the leg portion which defeats the entire purpose. When you go to the store, check the size chart to determine which size will fit your mother best. All the products on the market are pretty much 'max absorbency' because when an adult urinates, even once, they NEED maximum absorbency! Depends makes an overnight brief which is thicker/heavier but she wouldn't need such a thing until/unless wetting the bed frequently becomes an issue. Then there are quite a few options for products you can buy her to combat that problem.

Good luck!
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Gracie61 Aug 19, 2020
THanks, I'll probably try a couple of brands and see what they say she likes best.
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Measure her waist or ask AL. Otherwise a S/M should fit. I recommend pull ups rather than tabs because they should feel similar to underware. Estimate 3 to 4 changes per day. If you do not supply enough, the AL will charge more than if you supply them. My mom is about the same size and fully incontinent. I get her a case of 92 at one of the warehouses that almost makes a month and is around $40/month
It may be time to purchase some washable mattress pads in anticipation for overnight accidents. Plus a plastic mattress cover. Otherwise you will need to purchase a new mattress. Start with 2 and estimate $16 to 24 per pad. I use Amazon and purchased the extra big ones that cover across a twin bed.
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Gracie61 Aug 19, 2020
Thanks. Already have the matress cover and pad on the matress. I guess I automatically did for all beds, because at my house we have grandkids and cats, so I just did the same for mom. Appreciate the info
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My dad liked the Sam's club brand. They were soft and didn't have any plastic around the legs. They also had all the latest technology and were priced reasonably. Just good anyway I looked.
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We use Tena Plus
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My Mom will only wear the Discreet Boutique ones. They fit well & don't leak. You can get a subscription to them from Amazon so they keep coming and you save some money.

Definitely get the UTI thing checked. We had an older friend who had no pain, no urinary frequency, but was suddenly forgetful and combative. It was all from a UTI, and she was back to herself again once it cleared up.
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