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My FIL is living in AL with my MIL. They've been there a year. His dementia is fairly advanced. Doesn't know what day it is, or how to find out, slurs his words/can't find the words, can no longer care for any of his activities of daily living, and cannot walk. Thankfully, he remains in good spirits!!


He always knew where they lived until two weeks ago. He was checked for a UTI and it was negative. He now spends most of his time believing they've moved back to his childhood town or thinking they are getting ready to go on a trip to China (!!!). I know this is normal, but is it the 'new normal'? Of course my MIL thinks he's gone right over the edge.

Ceecee, from what you had written, yes this is Dad-in-law's new normal.

When my Mom was living in a nursing home there were times when she thought she was in a hotel, and would be upset that my Dad went on the sightseeing bus without her. My Dad wasn't sightseeing, he was home with his caregivers.

It was difficult for my Dad to visit Mom as he knew something was terribly wrong with Mom's thinking, so one hour was his limit. I told Dad to just agree with whatever Mom was saying, and he found it was a tad bit easier to cope.

Later when my Dad was living in Assisted Living/Memory Care, after dinner he would mentally climb into his time machine and whisk back to the 1940's. He believed he was at his company job, that he was in a meeting, but he had missed his bus to go home, so he was planning to stay at a hotel. So now I was agreeing with him, and this was becoming his new normal.
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