Mom (90) does not want to use cane. Any advice?

Hey! Amazing! Thank you for advice that worked. We named my 90 year old Mom's cane "Lizzie" which is what her Dad called his car when it wouldn't work! She took Lizzie out tonight and we went out for beers and onion rings! Had a great time! Thanks for the tip!

Addison, it sounds like you have a Rollator walker for your mother. Is that correct?

The rollator walkers are great. At first my Dad refused to buy one [didn't want to spend the money] but his cane wasn't stopping him from falling. Finally a physical therapist said he must have a rollator. Oh my gosh, my Dad loved it.... liked the hand brakes, the seat, and under the seat a basket.

Now instead of Dad falling on the driveway when going out to get the mail or pickup the newspaper, he now uses his rolling walker, tosses the mail/newspaper into the basket and is safely back into the house. He also brings out the trash bag for curb side pickup using the rolling walker, it gets to ride on the seat :)

Dad tried to get Mom to use this walker but she couldn't... she didn't have the hand strength to use the brakes. Too bad, as the cane is causing her to permanently hunch over and here the cane was measured by a PT to fit her.

FF I have a rollater tucked away for future use. saw it at a garage sale so thought it would be a good idea.
As far as the height of a cane measured by a PT to fit, I find they always make them too short for my comfort. I personally need to actually lean on mine for support or my back kills me and I end up doing the drunken sailor walk.
Try lengthening Mom's and see if she is more comfortable with it.

Veronica91, one time I needed something to remind my parents that I, too, am having age related decline... so I pulled out an extra cane I have at home and used it one day while all 3 of us were shopping.... quite a sight, 3 of us walking with canes.

That idea, while it did work somewhat and got my parents attention that their daughter wasn't 35 any more but a senior citizen herself, later killed my back for days :( Never will use that idea again for myself. I think I rather use the rollater instead when that time comes.

Mother just turned 90 and uses a walker everywhere she goes. She can't remember what happened a minute ago but she remembers where the cookies are. If you ask her she will tell you she never fall and never have. Having had knee replacements, once down she cannot get up. With that said, I have picked her up at least 4 times in the last year because she walked off without her walker because she did not think it was necessary. Once all she had on was her diaper, sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor looking around and asked what took me so long to get there. Dementia folks still have that indestructible mentality that makes them a high risk for falling, no matter how many times you explain it. A walker is the best option for balance we have found, even though she runs into everything, and I mean everything, including pets. Renovation will be costly once she is gone, after 9 years. Sometimes it takes a professional to tell them what they must do since they will not listen to family, been there done that too. Sometimes, no matter what you try to do, the inevitable will happen, due to their stubbornness. Good luck everyone.

A cane can create a "safer zone" surrounding the person while they are out in pubic. I explain they are less likely to get tousled about.

My mom was told to use a cane after her knee replacement (after using a walker for physical therapy). She was taught how to use it, but insisted on using it on the wrong side. I gave up and let her use it however she wanted until she was getting very unsteady with it. I found a walker that you could also sit on with a little basket for carrying things, and she loved it! This, for her, was much safer and less of an irritant (about using the cane). She actually got outside more, got more exercise and even in the winter would go and sit in the sun outside the door where she lived. She did this for quite a while until her dementia worsened and she had to be in a nursing facility. She used it there for a while, but then needed a wheelchair because her feet had to be up on those foot rests. All in all, sometimes you just need to be creative and patient with loved ones who work against the things that are there to help them. Good luck and God bless with working this out.

After my mother nearly tripped over her cane (she tends to lean sideways when walking), I ditched the cane and wouldn't let her out of the car until she used the walker (which I held by the open door so she had no choice). She (and I) was amazed how steady she was using the walker. It took her years to give in but if I'm going to take her places she has to do it by my rules. No walker: no ride. Sounds mean but doing for her own good. She's old enough now that she gave in.

My dad is the same way. I don't know if it's because one doesn't want to admit they need more help than what they think, or how will they be perceived. What ever the reason, it's frustration. Maybe a 'fashion' cane for your mom, they come in all colors and patterns.

My mom always wants to use her cane when i take her to appts because its less 'obvious' than her walker....altho she uses her walker all the time at home. I just have to tell her its too far a walk for her with the cane....she cant manage without more support than what the cane provides. But she hates using it outside the house.

SherylBeth a walker is very cumbersome to use inside or outside the house so a cane "feels" easier even though it isn't. It is kind of liberating not to have to wait for someone else to get the awlker out of the car, bring it round to the door then assist you out.
Would Mom consider a rollater? It seems less elderly and disabled than a walker and easier to use with four wheels and a brake. There is the option of using the seat to rest. Something else people don't think about is that if you are frail in body but of sound mind if you use a store provided W/C or electric cart you are at a different level from your companion and they have difficulty hearing what you are saying. Very frustrating for both you and your caregiver (especially if it is a short tempered spouse) Another alternative if they can be managedis the elbow crutches might help. see if you can get advice from an occupatioal therapist and do some research online to see all available devices.