Here are the details: Mom had a stroke on 3/3/2017 at age 59. The stroke was a blood clot that occurred because she hadn't managed her type 2 diabetes in a number of years. It has left her right side weak and very little movement in her right arm.
After two months in the hospital and short term rehab, insurance said it was time to go home. We all knew she wasn't ready, but had to give it a shot. We set up her apartment with a bed rail and extra hand rails, moved furniture, made sure the place was spotless (not her normal style of living). My sister planned to be there daily for a few hours to help. As well as a visiting nurse and PT/OT.
But it was a five day disaster.
Mom had zero will to take control of the situation and manage any of her care. Something that the doctor and OT said she should be able to do. She told the visiting nurse in her assessment she would need ALL DAY CARE. She said she wasn't safe to stay by herself for more than four hours; as well as someone to handle her medicine, PT/OT appointments, her upcoming doc appointments; cleaning her apartment...all of it. And my sister and I had to "handle" the rest. From paying her bills, going to her doc appointments, cooking, laundry, etc.
The visiting nurse said that wasn't in their level of care and didn't admit her into their program. The social worker gave me a few phone numbers to call for meals but didn't know what to do about nursing care. And my sister nearly had a nervous breakdown after three days of managing her kids and my mom.
So I contacted a near by long term nursing facility, explained the situation and two days later; admitted her.
What else could we do? My sister and I each have three kids. I live 1.5 hours away, full time job and my husband travels for his job. My sister doesn't have her life together and is barely raising her kids. Neither of us can handle this level of care my mom is requiring.
The only way to pay for this is to apply for Medicaid. All of her money will go to the nursing facility, except $52 which legally the State has to leave her. Thus she will have no way to pay rent and lose her apartment. Her moving expenses/labor will fall to my husband and I. As well as storage of her belongings until she is ready for assisted living.
Did I jump the gun? Could she have eventually managed living in her apartment? Or am I just fooling myself. She wasn't taking care of herself before, why would she start now?