How do I help my incontinent dad when we doesn't think he is wet?


My dad is incontinent of urine. He has some demetia. He ALWAYS says he is dry even when his pants are wet down to his knees. Does anyone else have this issue and does anyone have any suggestions?????

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I agree with Jeanne. My MIL was incontinent and she also never believed her pants were wet. She wore the incontinents underwear; and just insisted she was dry. It is amazing how they "don't feel it" - don't seem to understand. And this was a woman who was a perfectionist and immaculate about her appearance. So sad what dementia can do.

In the beginning I tried to help her understand that she was wet, but that didn't last too long - they do lose ability to think logically. So, I would just frequently go into the bathroom with her and change her underwear. At night, she wore two pair; just to be safe.

She would get annoyed with me about checking her pants; but that was to be expected and I didn't blame her there. Losing one's dignity is so very difficult. But never wanted to risk her getting a rash or a UTI. It is not easy, and must be more difficult with your Dad - easier with my MIL and less embarrassing than with a man. Hope things work out.

Good luck and hope things work out better.
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Don't ask him if he is dry. Say, "We're going to wash up a bit and change your clothes now. Come into the bathroom with me, please." Don't argue about whether he is wet or dry. It is simply time to wash up and change now.

Does he wear incontinence briefs? Fill his drawer with them and remove his cloth briefs. This is just how he is going to dress now.

If he has dementia he is losing his ability to reason and to think logically. Convincing him that he is wet is not likely to work. I'd give up on that angle.
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