If my POA calls an ambulance for me to be transported to the hospital and I do not want to go and I am alert and oriented, who does ambulance staff have to listen to? Me as a competent adult or my POA?
Trust Ralph Robbins answer. I'm going through, not your situation, these processes regarding my Mother. I will become Mom's Agent through Durable POA (actually arrived to home State today to get done).
She gave me copies of her directives over a decade that were not signed. She said I know where everything is if needed. Well, dementia has set in and these documents disappeared! I have spoken with at 1/2 Estate Attorneys regarding this issue. Attorneys, except one here in my home State, said all I need is a non-blood relative who was present at the time (my docs just do not have Mom's sig....everything else is filled out...to attest to the fact they were there. My Uncle's wife was there when Mom, me and my Uncle prepared the docs. I've spoken with the doctor's nurse and will be talking with doctor Tuesday; told Mom can't take care of herself physically/mentally. I will get a letter stating this and will become her Agent. My only other choice is Guardian/Conservator. That would be rolling the dice because the Court has the right to assign a "professional" who then can charge their fees to the Estate. Better I go this route than the latter.
Ralph is correct. Make sure everything is stipulated EXACTLY the way you want before you sign your rights away.
I'm in a similar situation, on the other side. I would rather be living my own life and having my uncle live his, but he has been in and out of hospitals and has needed my support. I don't feel it would be a stretch to say that if he didn't have me (or someone like me) looking out for him he would not be alive right now.
Each time he gets seriously ill he gets delirious, in addition to his age-related memory loss. Every time he starts feeling better again he feels I am trying to control him and his life and gets upset with me. Then I back off, as I just have, once again. If the past is any indication, things will start dropping through the cracks, usually with his doctors/caregivers, and he will end up back in the ER, then hospital, then rehab. Next time he will likely not make it home, but will have to go to Assisted Living or a SNF.
I hope I have someone to watch out for me when I am not able to think straight, whether it is due to pride or physical issues. I admire his motivation to be independent, but his pride is actually limiting his independence. I am continually having to decide, like your POA is struggling with - "do I do what I think is best for him/her, or what they want?"
It's a tough situation, for both of you, and everyone you come into contact with. Getting into legalities only makes it worse, IMO. We need others to look out for us. If you have someone who you trust enough to look out for you, let her/him. Many folks don't have anyone and end up with a state-appointed guardian. If that is better for you, so be it. Ask yourself what/who you'd rather have, and work to make what you choose work for you.
Hope this helps. I wish I knew the secret to making it easier...
I'm not sure what your medical problem was for your POA to want to call the ambulance.. What I do know is my dad doesn't like the ambulance called and he believes it not necessary however there's been at least two times we called it anyway and good thing otherwise my dad would be dead. To this day he still believes we didn't need to call.
Interesting - my understanding of our DPOA (also drawn up in MA) was that it would take effect if/when mom was deemed incompetent, which sounds like the description above for the "springing" POA. Perhaps it is all in the "wording."
I had offered at one time to take over her bills to make life easier for her, but she declined at that time, so I let it be. Once she started making errors (wrong amounts being paid, late bill payment, paying tips to delivery AND with bill payment, etc.), I took over all the bills. She remained living in her condo at that time - additional oversight and decision making was done if/when needed.
The other side of the interesting is that I have read many other posts where even when the person is NOT competent, aka lives in memory care unit, what THEY say overrules. For instance, they have a simple fall, no obvious injury and staff calls in ambulance - if the person says no, then no means NO! At that point, the EMTs might try to persuade the person, but they will not transport if the person declines. In your case you say you ARE competent.
Out of curiosity Lisa50, why is this person calling an ambulance for you? If it were a life-threatening issue, perhaps it would be wise to go. If it is not, why would that person want to send you to the hospital or why not just transport you to the doctor or ER without an ambulance?
As others have said, perhaps your choice of POA either needs revision (choose someone else) or try having a heart-to-heart with the person or discussion at the attorney's office to ensure this person knows what they should and should not be doing and when! Without any detail or background, it is difficult to say whether or not this person is overstepping their bounds or might be taking advantage of you?
When I was made durable power of attorney for two friends of mine, they gave me absolute authority to make decisions on their behalf, even if they didn't agree with them. This included their health care and finances. But, when it was time to move to a memory care apartment due to the wife's frontal temporal dementia, the husband didn't think they needed to do this. His own short term memory issues prevented him from seeing the changes taking place in his wife's abilities. I talked with him for about 90 minutes the first time to get him to agree to go for better care of his wife. They had to go together since she was lost without him. He promptly forgot about this, so I had the same conversation to get a deposit check for their apartment, then to have a transitions company come to look at how much furniture was involved in the move, then the day of the move. Each time he ended up agreeing to this. After the move, which he was really happy with, I never said another word about all the work I was doing emptying out their town home and getting it ready to sell. And he never once suggested about going back--he was too happy with the care he was getting. And when the wife had to go to a geri-psych ward for them to find an anti-psychotic medicine that would calm her down without doping her up, he went along with this, too, after a moment of panic when he realized she wasn't leaving with him as we left. But, he accepted my explanation that he had forgotten about. So far, so good. His wife passed over two years ago, but he is still happy in this memory care apartment. He is just happy that I take care of everything and I am happy that this care and service has been a peaceful process with no arguing or disagreements or intervention by any family members. They live far away and are happy that he has a friend that is doing this. I am also the executor of his estate, so I know his intent should he die with an estate. Not likely. He is physically healthy still and is likely to outlive the money he has left.
Talk with an elder law attorney in your state. In my state (Massachusetts) a person may revoke a health care proxy by notifying the agent or a health care provider orally or in writing or by any other act evidencing a specific intent to revoke the proxy.
You are presumed to have the capacity to revoke a health care proxy unless determined otherwise pursuant to court order.
my mil's POA seemingly doesn't even want anybody to go over her head to even ask mil about anything and seems to have convinced that since she's made her POA she can't do anything for herself anymore
Lisa, your post does raise the issue: why are you placing power of attorney in the hands of someone whose views you know to be in direct conflict with your own?
If you can't, at the very least, have confidence that this person will honour your stated wishes even after you have lost capacity, then for heaven's sake pick someone else!
Ralph, My DPOA mentioned that I only took over if Mom was incapacitated. Then it listed what I was allowed to do in her name. In the state of NJ no one ever questioned my DPOA. An insurance company holding shares in Moms name did require that I have a lawyer say that her DPOA was still good after 10 yrs.
With respect to #1 above, Powers of Attorney are typically drafted in one of two ways: as a "Durable Power of Attorney" or "Springing Power of Attorney". Some states, like Florida, no longer permit Springing Powers of Attorney.
A Durable Power of Attorney grants the Agent immediate powers upon execution of the document irrespective of the Principal's capacity.
A Springing Power of attorney grants the Agent powers only upon an event(s) specified in the document (usually incapacity).
With respect to #2 above, an agent can only exercise those powers specified in the document. Typically, a POA is drafted to address only financial and contractual matters and a separate document (Health Care Surrogate) is drafted to cover health care decision making and HIPPA authorization.
Some POA's whether Durable or Springing, include health care decision making and HIPPA powers.
The delineated powers in the document rule; there are rarely "implied" powers (although state statute may have clarifying language).
If the Principal has capacity they retain the ability to revoke the POA at anytime. Usually the Agent(s) must be notified in writing of such revocation.
The above is not to be considered legal advice. Consult competent counsel in your state regarding your particular circumstances.
You, as long as you can make a competent decision. If the person you chose to be POA is making decisions for you that go against your wishes or forcing you to do things you do not wish to do you may want to rescind the POA and select someone else.
A competent person always retains control - their POA can act only at their direction - say handling some business matter, etc. But they are NOT in charge - for that you are talking about a legal guardian, a court process. A DPOA is a durable power of attorney and may act according to the terms of the DPOA agreement should the giver of the DPOA be unable to act or do decision making, say if you are unconscious after an auto accident.
POA doesn't control you, or dictate your life. You can revoke POA at any moment. Only a legal guardian has the level of control you're POA is trying to exert.
I'm going through, not your situation, these processes regarding my Mother.
I will become Mom's Agent through Durable POA (actually arrived to home State today to get done).
She gave me copies of her directives over a decade that were not signed. She said I know where everything is if needed. Well, dementia has set in and these documents disappeared!
I have spoken with at 1/2 Estate Attorneys regarding this issue. Attorneys, except one here in my home State, said all I need is a non-blood relative who was present at the time (my docs just do not have Mom's sig....everything else is filled out...to attest to the fact they were there. My Uncle's wife was there when Mom, me and my Uncle prepared the docs.
I've spoken with the doctor's nurse and will be talking with doctor Tuesday; told Mom can't take care of herself physically/mentally. I will get a letter stating this and will become her Agent.
My only other choice is Guardian/Conservator. That would be rolling the dice because the Court has the right to assign a "professional" who then can charge their fees to the Estate.
Better I go this route than the latter.
Ralph is correct. Make sure everything is stipulated EXACTLY the way you want before you sign your rights away.
Each time he gets seriously ill he gets delirious, in addition to his age-related memory loss. Every time he starts feeling better again he feels I am trying to control him and his life and gets upset with me. Then I back off, as I just have, once again. If the past is any indication, things will start dropping through the cracks, usually with his doctors/caregivers, and he will end up back in the ER, then hospital, then rehab. Next time he will likely not make it home, but will have to go to Assisted Living or a SNF.
I hope I have someone to watch out for me when I am not able to think straight, whether it is due to pride or physical issues. I admire his motivation to be independent, but his pride is actually limiting his independence. I am continually having to decide, like your POA is struggling with - "do I do what I think is best for him/her, or what they want?"
It's a tough situation, for both of you, and everyone you come into contact with. Getting into legalities only makes it worse, IMO. We need others to look out for us. If you have someone who you trust enough to look out for you, let her/him. Many folks don't have anyone and end up with a state-appointed guardian. If that is better for you, so be it. Ask yourself what/who you'd rather have, and work to make what you choose work for you.
Hope this helps. I wish I knew the secret to making it easier...
I had offered at one time to take over her bills to make life easier for her, but she declined at that time, so I let it be. Once she started making errors (wrong amounts being paid, late bill payment, paying tips to delivery AND with bill payment, etc.), I took over all the bills. She remained living in her condo at that time - additional oversight and decision making was done if/when needed.
The other side of the interesting is that I have read many other posts where even when the person is NOT competent, aka lives in memory care unit, what THEY say overrules. For instance, they have a simple fall, no obvious injury and staff calls in ambulance - if the person says no, then no means NO! At that point, the EMTs might try to persuade the person, but they will not transport if the person declines. In your case you say you ARE competent.
Out of curiosity Lisa50, why is this person calling an ambulance for you? If it were a life-threatening issue, perhaps it would be wise to go. If it is not, why would that person want to send you to the hospital or why not just transport you to the doctor or ER without an ambulance?
As others have said, perhaps your choice of POA either needs revision (choose someone else) or try having a heart-to-heart with the person or discussion at the attorney's office to ensure this person knows what they should and should not be doing and when! Without any detail or background, it is difficult to say whether or not this person is overstepping their bounds or might be taking advantage of you?
You are presumed to have the capacity to revoke a health care proxy unless determined otherwise pursuant to court order.
malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartII/TitleII/Chapter201D/Section7
The laws and cases in your state can give you guidance on what you need to do to express your wishes.
If you can't, at the very least, have confidence that this person will honour your stated wishes even after you have lost capacity, then for heaven's sake pick someone else!
1. The construction of the document.
2. The powers provided for in the document.
With respect to #1 above, Powers of Attorney are typically drafted in one of two ways: as a "Durable Power of Attorney" or "Springing Power of Attorney". Some states, like Florida, no longer permit Springing Powers of Attorney.
A Durable Power of Attorney grants the Agent immediate powers upon execution of the document irrespective of the Principal's capacity.
A Springing Power of attorney grants the Agent powers only upon an event(s) specified in the document (usually incapacity).
With respect to #2 above, an agent can only exercise those powers specified in the document. Typically, a POA is drafted to address only financial and contractual matters and a separate document (Health Care Surrogate) is drafted to cover health care decision making and HIPPA authorization.
Some POA's whether Durable or Springing, include health care decision making and HIPPA powers.
The delineated powers in the document rule; there are rarely "implied" powers (although state statute may have clarifying language).
If the Principal has capacity they retain the ability to revoke the POA at anytime. Usually the Agent(s) must be notified in writing of such revocation.
The above is not to be considered legal advice. Consult competent counsel in your state regarding your particular circumstances.
Choose someone else if you feel that person will not honor your wishes.
All the best to you!
If the person you chose to be POA is making decisions for you that go against your wishes or forcing you to do things you do not wish to do you may want to rescind the POA and select someone else.