My brother claims our mom signed over POA to him shortly after our father died (2008). I didn't question it until recently. Our mom was diagnosed with early stages of dementia. She was put on Aricept and is doing pretty good. I live in NJ, but my mom and brother live in FL. We have a lot more family in NJ to help out with her and we all agreed we would like to have her up here. I like to have a game plan in place for big events like this, so I asked what her finances looked like so we know what we were working with in case she would need home care or a memory care facility down the road. It's 4 months later and he continues to refuse to let me see them. Over the past 5 years his Parkinson's has caused him to deteriorate physically and mentally and his wife has been handling my moms finances and medical needs, she refuses to give me logins or copies of anything. My questions are:
1. How can I help my mom get a copy of the supposed POA document she signed?
2. How can I help my mom get access to her financials? (Pension, bank accounts, IRA, SS) She's told my brother to show them to me and give me the login information. Everything is electronic (income and bills/debts), and she doesn't even own a computer. She's from Iceland so there's a language barrier and she's hard of hearing, she also had my dad taking care of everything their entire marriage. She can't make the calls and convey what she needs, let alone hear what they're saying.
3. How do I have my brother deemed incompetent of making financial and medical decisions with the supposed POA? I don't think my sister in law has any right to manage my mothers finances or make any medical decisions on her behalf.
4. Can my mom be deemed incompetent because of her early onset dementia? If so what are my options to help her.
Thanks for any help you can give!