How do I cope with a boss who is growing less tolerant of family needs?

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I can't quit my job. I'm not permitted to work off site, although it is easily done in my work environment.

Answers 1 to 10 of 21
Your boss depends on you, so you need to be dependable. If you need time away, use your family or vacation leave so he/she can hire a temp to do your job. It would be nice if we were like some European countries that work fewer hours each week and have longer vacations.
I agree completely. Unfortunately my job doesn't provide the option for temps. I manage construction projects and new builds for my company. I love my job; it keeps me sane. I am fully capable of doing my job occasionally off site. Even when I need to be out I stay connected and my projects always move forward regardless of where I physically seated. My boss just doesn't like it and has no frame of reference when it comes to family demands. She's never has to experience it. Luck boss.
Top Answer
Tell mom not to call you at work. We had to do the same. If she needs a housekeeper, hire one. Get her a medical alert pendant if she is prone to emergencies. If she is starting fires in the kitchen, consider Assisted Living.
FMLA if possible
Cclarkphxaz, I had a boss like that, too. She had no clue what I was dealing with, and here I wasn't a hands-on caregiver, it was just all the doctor appointments and other days off for whatever.... I used up all my vacation days, sick days, and days with no pay.

Me being out of the office didn't sit well with the boss. Eventually headquarters eliminated my position because it noticed that other employees were able to share my work. Gone was an excellent job that had great benefits such as matching 401(k), health insurance, profit sharing, paid tuition, etc.

I was heartbroken, and very resentful of my parents because they could have changed but were too stubborn in their ways. If they could have changed, I would still have that fantastic job.
One thing about FMLA, it is only 90 days worth of time during an one year time span where the company guarantees that your job will still be waiting for you.

I am so glad I never used FMLA to use for my parents because I came down with a serious illness that required surgery and I needed every single day of FMLA for myself.
You have an interesting predicament- a woman in a man's world handling a challenging and difficult job, while working for a woman who climbs the corporate ladder like a man and has no family ties to integrate into her work life.

I can understand that a construction manager should be on the job; if something goes wrong you may need to make instant decisions. I'm wondering though if you can train promising tradeswomen or tradesmen as assistants, gradually accepting more and more responsibility so that they can support and/or substitute for you in the event of an emergency. The bottom line should be that all events and possible on site issues are addressed timely, safely and within budget. Is there a way that you can create workarounds that meet these criteria but still allow you time for caregiving?

I've been thinking of the tradesmen who've provided work for me; their boss is rarely on site, and has assigned specific individuals with specific tasks; they keep in touch by cell phone and send photos if an issue arises. But the boss has to have confidence in his/her employees in order to extend this responsibility. Do you have workers that could be trained to support you in this manner?

I'm wondering how long your boss has been in the business, and if she still feels a need to prove herself which is part of wanting you on site all the time. I'm wondering also if this is a WBE contractor or subcontractor and your boss reports to another contractor which might be influencing her decisions.

Is it possible that you could do the paperwork at home but spend the supervision time on the job site?

This is an interesting and challenging situation, one in which a woman who might otherwise be sympathetic doesn't even understand the basic issues you're facing.

Wish I had some better suggestions.
I'm new to the website and am so thankful for your thoughts. Fredflyer, I'm in exactly the same situation, no live in, hands on (yet) and it's more addressing urgent matters, Doctor spots, hospital testing. To make matters even worse is that my father, who is 8 yrs younger has a host of his own issues which also requires my assistance too. They both try hard to depend on one another. I already see the train wreck coming down the track.

My moms biggest ongoing issue is extreme memory loss due to a stroke. Most days she depressed and irritable with a "my life sucks" disposition. Hard not to get resentful considering all I'm dealing with because of her. Of course, then I feel guilty for that and then get resentful of my boss and my mom, then everyone in my life. Lastly I get mad at myself for the pity party, poor me, BS.

It's a never ending circle of emotions that I can't pull out of anymore. It's only going to get worst too. UHG!
It's a tough spot.

I'm in the same boat, starting to hear rumbles of discontent about how often I need to run out to take MIL to an appt. or pick up a kid from school. My review is coming up, so I've started making a small list of what I do around the office that is "extra" - so they can see that although they are "putting up with" some difficulty with me, I also go above and beyond for them. Hoping this will help compensate and appease some of the grumbles.

You might try that, making a list of things you do that go above and beyond. Hopefully you can show them that overall you are an asset to the company. And someday your boss will likely know about how hard this juggling act is, because it will happen to someone in her life :(
You hire day time help for your parents. The caregiver i hired for my mom cleaned, cooked, personal care, meds, took her to the store, and dr visits (where I met them). She was a Godsend! I was able to keep my job that way and only used FLMA when she went into hospice.

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