My loved one in his 60s is in memory care. Except for ALZ., he is active and in good health. He has not needed Depends, but now he sometimes goes on the floor or in the trash can. His bathroom is just a few steps away. Any suggestions?
If your loved one is already in memory care, they should be more than well versed in how to handle this. Have you asked them? And yes, he should now be in Depends full-time, because his brain is broken, and it won't get better, only worse. Best wishes.
My brother went through that. The doctors had insisted that the toilet was not safe and he needed a potty chair over it. Apparently he did not then recognize the toilet, so he would attempt to use the trash can beside the toilet ( and fall off). We removed the potty chair and the problem was solved…. And no more falling off the trash can. I hope that works for you if you have a similar situation. My brother also tried to flush depends, but that is another issue.
He is in MC. The staff should be dealing with this. Frequent trips to the bathroom. They should be talking him at least every 2 hours. The use of incontinent briefs. Possibly removing containers where he might use and placing a commode in his room even if there is a bathroom in the room. He might be getting confused and not "know" where the bathroom is. This is one of the declines that is anticipated with dementia. A loss of the "filters" we commonly use so that we lead "acceptable, appropriate" lives. Exposing oneself, urinating in inappropriate places, defecating in in appropriate places, foul language are just a few things that can happen when filters are dropped.
I know this isn’t an excellent comparison, but I once had a very elderly cat that did this. At the time we were beyond frustrated, but in retrospect, we think she honestly just couldn’t find it, and was getting lost.
Perhaps a commode for the bad days? Or here’s one thing we do at work. We put electrical tape on the floor, so that the person can follow it to the bathroom.
Funny but I was remembering my elderly cat who would go on the newspapers but not in the litter box. I would put a pee pad under them and every morning go in and clean it up and refresh the newspapers. I called it my nursing home duties. So I do think he became confused.
Memory to find the bathroom declines. Recognising the toilet can becomes a problem. Balance declines. As does brain-bladder signals, resulting in urgency &/or incontinence.
So even with a big picture on the bathroom door (worth trying though!), finding it, getting there in time, managing clothing & balancing all impact.
It may seem like a simple thing - but there are many steps to it.
"He has not needed Depends,"
But now he does - is the short answer.
Also ask staff if a toileting routine would help, as suggested.
Sounds like he has now progressed to a stage of needing Depends - you cannot reason with him. A commode which he agreed to use and placed where he would like it may help.
Regrettably, his memory is declined and depends is now necessary. Many people who have dementia/alzheimers have similar issues and while it is frustrating for the care providers it is something that the person who has the disease cannot be taught to remember. Do your best to get him to use depends and remember he isn't doing anything purposely. Best wishes.
Here's a funny thing... Is the bathroom white, with white tiles and a white toilet? Often it just cannot be seen as everything blurs into sameness (particularly if it is multipurpose with shower, toilet, basin in the one room) - too many options can lead to indecision while dealing with more pressing matters. I agree that 'read the sign' will not likely work, but placing some brightly colored 'feet' stickers to the destination might help eliminate the variables - it works for Santa Claus...
Besides maybe having an extra portable commode, my dad had a urinal bedside because in the night his balance was bad and could fall. This helped him. And yes, get him some in continence underwear that look a bit like underwear. Take all his old briefs out of his drawer so he doesn’t use them. I got my dad ones from Depends that were gray pull ups. He had those until he was bedridden and needed the diaper style.
If he is in a good memory care facility they should know how to take care of this. Before my husband went in MC he would stand just inside the bathroom and pee all over the floor. Then he had moments when he was by the toilet as if he was going to pee and while standing up would poop on the floor. This is a horrible disease that sometimes make no sense. I wish you lots of luck! Prayers are being sent to you.
Perhaps getting him into the habit of sitting on the toilet regardless of whether he is there for "#1, #2 or both" would help to prevent such "accidents".
Staff are probably already trying to redirect him as often as they can. They also probably have him on a toileting schedule - taking him to the bathroom every 2-3 hours. He should be wearing Depends regularly. If he is urinating all over the place, his prostate may be enlarged and giving him the "gotta go" feeling all the time. It might be worth an evaluation by a doctor, If BPH (enlarged prostate) is the problem, there are medications to help with that "gotta go" feeling. The other problem is that everything may look like a toilet to him; that will probably not change.
I just wanted to reach out because I also have a husband that is 62 and going into memory care facility at the end of the month. depends will not work because they will just take them off, it just took me 2 hours to get pants on my husband. My husband has also gone in his trash can and also the utility room which is right next to the bathroom , I have tried to get him to go to the bathroom every 2 hours put he just puts up a fight. I think a memory care facility will be better trained to handle him with this issue and also bathing.
You can't. Time for Depends, and they may not work, if he takes off his pants. This is the issue that finally drive md to find a home for my spouse. A great one, thank god.
is he IN a home now? If so, why is it your problem?
All I can say is thank god he is somewhere but your home. I'd never allow that and would place him at once. There is nothing you can do - it is their job to fix this.
MHHE1967: Imho, my own late mother was waiting far too long to navigate from her living room chair to head into her bathroom. As a result, I was wiping up her bathroom floor from urine and bowel every day (since I had to move in with her from out of state). Your LO may also be waiting too long.
Depends/pull-ups aren't the solution to this problem. If he's peeing on the floor/in the trash can with purposeful action, he'll do it whether he wears undies or depends. Purposeful action doesn't mean that he knows what he's doing. It just means, in this instance, that he knows that he has to pee and doesn't want to pee his pants. But this is just my assessment with your 2.5 sentences. It is, in fact, the hard work of you and your team of magic makers to... Reassure your loved one Review the possible causes Remove the possible causes Redirect behavior or attention Restore yourself Review what happened Reach out for help as needed
The above and more rely more on a drug reduced/drug free behavior management. Which is harder in every way but more effective in a long term scenario. There's also the option to medicinally restrain to produce compliance. Which is common because it's easy. But the downside of medicinal restraint is the need of regular use which causes tolerance, higher dosages and in time ineffectiveness. So the whole gig starts over with a different drug.
Or....set a bedside potty chair close to where he goes.
My husband did this with his dementia. This will be a lot of work but take notice what time he needs to go to the bathroom and how many times. Then you take him and make sure he is using the toilet. My husband sometimes would be in the bathroom just inside the door and pee all over the floor. It started to be a weekly thing for me to clean the bathroom floor at 2am-3am. I heard this is a common behavior. And yes I did end up taking all un-nessary items out of the bathroom. My husband would use Clorox disinfective wipes and hand towels to wipe himself. Good luck this is not an easy cycle to deal with.
potty chairs arent allowed in most Dementia Units, the whole reason they are there is to get help w Depends,ambulatory etc. the confused patients wouldnt fare well -knock it over etc
I put my 98 year old mother on the commode every two hours during the day. She uses pullups during the day and at night we change and turn her every 3 hours she using night depends with tabs. Works very well for her.
The doctors had insisted that the toilet was not safe and he needed a potty chair over it.
Apparently he did not then recognize the toilet, so he would attempt to use the trash can beside the toilet ( and fall off).
We removed the potty chair and the problem was solved…. And no more falling off the trash can.
I hope that works for you if you have a similar situation.
My brother also tried to flush depends, but that is another issue.
Frequent trips to the bathroom. They should be talking him at least every 2 hours.
The use of incontinent briefs.
Possibly removing containers where he might use and placing a commode in his room even if there is a bathroom in the room. He might be getting confused and not "know" where the bathroom is.
This is one of the declines that is anticipated with dementia. A loss of the "filters" we commonly use so that we lead "acceptable, appropriate" lives. Exposing oneself, urinating in inappropriate places, defecating in in appropriate places, foul language are just a few things that can happen when filters are dropped.
Perhaps a commode for the bad days? Or here’s one thing we do at work. We put electrical tape on the floor, so that the person can follow it to the bathroom.
So even with a big picture on the bathroom door (worth trying though!), finding it, getting there in time, managing clothing & balancing all impact.
It may seem like a simple thing - but there are many steps to it.
"He has not needed Depends,"
But now he does - is the short answer.
Also ask staff if a toileting routine would help, as suggested.
Is the bathroom white, with white tiles and a white toilet?
Often it just cannot be seen as everything blurs into sameness (particularly if it is multipurpose with shower, toilet, basin in the one room) - too many options can lead to indecision while dealing with more pressing matters.
I agree that 'read the sign' will not likely work, but placing some brightly colored 'feet' stickers to the destination might help eliminate the variables - it works for Santa Claus...
is he IN a home now? If so, why is it your problem?
A great one, thank god.
It is, in fact, the hard work of you and your team of magic makers to...
Reassure your loved one
Review the possible causes
Remove the possible causes
Redirect behavior or attention
Restore yourself
Review what happened
Reach out for help as needed
The above and more rely more on a drug reduced/drug free behavior management. Which is harder in every way but more effective in a long term scenario.
There's also the option to medicinally restrain to produce compliance. Which is common because it's easy. But the downside of medicinal restraint is the need of regular use which causes tolerance, higher dosages and in time ineffectiveness. So the whole gig starts over with a different drug.
Or....set a bedside potty chair close to where he goes.