I have to yell to get my dad's attention. Am I doing something wrong?


My dad has dementia due to liver failure and is hard of hearing as well(very hard of hearing). He also becomes easily distracted in the middle of things. For instance when a physical therapist came over, we had to turn off the TV and close the windows so my dad would not be distracted. I will be helping my dad to the bathroom and he will stop to look at a piece of lint on the couch. If I don't yell or speak sharply to get his attention-- his mind wanders completely off somewhere. Am I doing something that wrong?

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If you have to yell to get his attention and you need to get his attention, so be it. The problem is not with you, but with his impaired hearing. Shouting or speaking loudly does make us sound angry so I understand why it is uncomfortable for you. You only want to get his attention, not to scold him.

My husband had hearing aids but often didn't bother to wear them. In his more lucid moments I explained to him that I really didn't want to yell because I wasn't angry and didn't want to sound angry. Eventually we got to a point where if he didn't hear me I would just point to my ears, he'd put in his hearing aids, and I'd give my answer in a calm voice. But I know it is not always so easy to get someone to buy or wear hearing aids.

Do the best you can, and don't feel guilty about doing what you have to do. Assure Dad once in a while that shouting at him doesn't mean you are angry.
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Bless his heart. I didn't know liver failure caused dementia? Could he possibly have a UTI that could be causing exacerbated dementia symptoms? It is so difficult, but try to think of him as a baby that you are teaching. He can't help it:((
You are probably so tired and stressed. Take plenty of B vitamins and remember to breathe. Can he afford hearing aids? Can you get a break? Don't be hard on yourself or him. I don't know what else to tell you, but take a break and don't worry. You are a loving daughter. Blessings to you:) xo
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