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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother refuses to bathe. She sleeps in her clothes, and up and wearing them still. I can hardly get her to doc appointments as she doesn't want to go. Hardest part so far.
I've dealt with my dad not bathing for years. His clothes are often dirty and he sleeps in them in a chair or on the couch. He says bathing is hard for him. He bathes partly in and out of the shower as he doesn't want to get water in his ears and then he washes his hair in the sink. 2 weeks ago when I went to his house, he smelled so bad in my car I could hardly breathe. I'm not sure how long it had been since he had a shower. Bathing is now on the list for the caregivers every day so they ask him (remind him) how long it has been since he showered. He's not at the point where he will let anyone help him.
Bathing is overrated. I'm serious. It wasn't until very recently that people bathed at all let alone every day. Same with using soap. We aren't designed for it. While some beauty magazines will decry not bathing everyday as letting microbes like bacteria flourish. That bacteria is not necessarily bad for you. That's what the science says. We evolved to have that bacteria on us. Much of it is good bacteria. That squeaky feeling you have after having a nice hot soapy shower is actually bad for your skin. You washed away all the lipids protecting it and all the good bacteria. Not good for your skin, good for companies selling you moisturizer to replace the lipids you just washed off.
So she doesn't bath everyday or change her clothes. Plenty of people do that all around the world. It's called being a backpacker. My mom is the same way. I shoot for a shower a week and change her clothes every 3 days or so. As long as she has good hygiene where it matters, then it doesn't matter. I would suggest you get a bidet, they are like $20-$30, to wash the bits that matter. Don't stress about the rest.
Mom is the same about going to doctors appointments. I've discovered a wheel chair is a lifesaver. It turns out that it's just that initial effort of getting up and out of the house is the hang up. Once she gets up and going, it's not a problem. I used to start trying to get her to go to the doctor 2-3 hours before the appointment since it took 2-3 hours just to convince her to go out to the car. Then we had to use a wheel chair for a bit. She offered no resistance getting up and into the wheel chair. So even though she walks again now, I still use the wheel chair. I just wheel in the chair, tell her it's doctor time. She'll get up and sits in the wheel chair, off we go.
This seems to be a very common problem! Many have written about this in the past. You can use the search function to find previous posts on this website. It seems to become more difficult with dementia. Is that what your mother has?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So she doesn't bath everyday or change her clothes. Plenty of people do that all around the world. It's called being a backpacker. My mom is the same way. I shoot for a shower a week and change her clothes every 3 days or so. As long as she has good hygiene where it matters, then it doesn't matter. I would suggest you get a bidet, they are like $20-$30, to wash the bits that matter. Don't stress about the rest.
Mom is the same about going to doctors appointments. I've discovered a wheel chair is a lifesaver. It turns out that it's just that initial effort of getting up and out of the house is the hang up. Once she gets up and going, it's not a problem. I used to start trying to get her to go to the doctor 2-3 hours before the appointment since it took 2-3 hours just to convince her to go out to the car. Then we had to use a wheel chair for a bit. She offered no resistance getting up and into the wheel chair. So even though she walks again now, I still use the wheel chair. I just wheel in the chair, tell her it's doctor time. She'll get up and sits in the wheel chair, off we go.