The hospice nurses in our house have been menacing and pushy and aggressive.
They pretend to be nice and I can see through it.
The reason I brought my loved one home is so we could spend time together before I lose him and they have no right to take that away from me.
They're invading my privacy.
I'm sick of their propaganda about "helping him on his journey" and listening to long-winded lectures that insult my intelligence.
It does no good to have someone be knowledgable about drugs and dying when they just want power and control.
They're hell-bent to push morphine on him.
We had not tried the dosage on the bottle yet but they insisted on upping the dosage. They made it really obvious that they're using drugs to put him to sleep and kill him.
Hospice should not be acting like demonic policemen who try to rush your loved ones into death.
The emotional and spiritual support they claim to give is not there.
They're like drug pushers off the street who don't understand my right to privacy in my home or our right to have private time before they start being in a big hurry to kill him.
I feel like they're a terrible threat to my welfare. The fact that their own family members have died does not give me any reason to trust them.
I resent being treated like I'm just another client and I see no way to get away from them. The last time I felt this helpless was decades ago when I was stuck living with people on drugs and they were demanding their own way.
I do not have the ability to stand up to them and my family and friends are not able to help.

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Take your loved one off hospice and care for him yourself. You don't understand that hospice doesn't kill people, and they don't give lethal doses of morphine to help them on their way, but I don't think you'll understand or even try to because you're hung up on something from the past.

Mind you, your relative will suffer, but if you're so hell-bent on irrationally channeling your grief and anger at the nurses to the extent that you (not they) are a threat, then you should either cancel hospice or remove yourself from the situation so your loved one does not suffer.

Keep in mind, YOU are not the client. Your LO is. Their job is to make his existence as comfortable as possible and appears you're interfering with that. They do offer support to family as well, but you are not the reason they're there.

Hospice does not kill people. If the client is dead sooner than need be, they don't get paid. That's a mighty poor way of doing business.

If you have the authority to hire and fire the hospice provider, then you can contact another company, and they'll take over. They'll arrange with the new company for a seamless changeover, as the old company will have to take all the medical equipment out and the new one will bring in the the replacements.

I did this with my dad when I fired the first hospice company, and it worked perfectly. This might work for your situation but only IF you realize that hospice isn't trying to kill anyone, and they know the doses of morphine prescribed aren't dangerous.

Either you're on board as a member of his care team, or you'll become the entire care team. It's up to him if he's competent to make that decision, or you if you're the decision maker, but I do hope you have his best interests in mind and don't want him to struggle to breathe or be in pain.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to MJ1929

Who ordered Hospice for your loved one?
Did your loved one ask for Hospice care?

Do you understand that Hospice is end of life care, and that you need not have Hospice care at all if you do not wish it?

If you and your loved one do not wish to have hospice care there is no reason whatsoever that you must continue with their care.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

You do realize once your loved one dies, Medicare no longer pays hospice bills, Right?

Not to mention they are not administering drugs in your are.

If you feel so strongly that hospice is a bunch of drug pushers and such, why would you not fire them? You are under no obligation to continue services you do not want or trust!

You have the ability to stand up to any provider who's providing services you do not want. I suggest you do just that!
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Reply to lealonnie1
MJ1929 May 30, 2023
Yes, hospice nurses will administer the drugs. I had a nurse at my dad's side for the last day, and she did the medicating.
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To the contrary, I felt comforted by the hospice staff. We were fortunate to have a hospice provider that offered an ‘end of life’ care home. They provided excellent care for my mother and were a great support system for our entire family.

I am a bit surprised by your comments. Please explain why you feel that hospice is invading your privacy. You signed an agreement with their company to do a job. They are doing the job that they were hired to do.

Hospice nurses aren’t angels of death that push death onto people. A person who signs up for hospice is seriously ill or they wouldn’t be approved for the service.

I was truly grateful that drugs were available for my mom during her final time on this earth. Just think about how many people have died in pain because they weren’t signed up with a hospice provider.

Hospice provides counseling for the entire family. The social worker that we had was terrific. I suggest that you contact the social worker and discuss how you feel with them. Clergy is also available.

I find it interesting that don’t mention how your loved one feels about the hospice staff and the care they are receiving. How are they doing? Are they resting peacefully? If they are, please be grateful for the care they are receiving from the staff.

Hospice nurses are some of the most compassionate people on this earth.

They are extremely aware of the signs of death. Please treat them with respect and trust their judgement to determine how much medication is needed. They are trained to care for the dying.

If you aren’t satisfied please look for a new hospice provider.

I know that it’s hard to lose a loved one. I believe the most loving thing that you can do for them now is to allow them to die peacefully. Isn’t that more important than having privacy with your loved one? Can’t you share your loved one with hospice in order for them to receive the proper care?

I’m sorry to be so blunt but these final days should only be about your loved one’s comfort and care.

Wishing you and your loved one peace during this difficult time of transitioning.

I hope that your hospice staff will be able to provide the best care in spite of your resentment and feeling as if they are intruding. Please try to welcome them into your home to assist your loved one to die peacefully.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
NeedHelpWithMom May 30, 2023

That is certainly possible which is why I told her to switch to another provider if she wasn’t satisfied.

You are correct in pointing out that not all organizations provide the same level of care and support.

Still, I have no idea why she would consider their services as being an intrusion on her privacy. She hired them to do a job. I would be grateful that they were there to help and I would allow them to do the job they were hired to do.

She also mentioned that they said that they wanted to help her loved one along on their journey. This conveys a message of compassion.

If she would like to have personal time with her loved one, she should politely tell them that she would like to have some time alone with them after they have taken care of his/her needs.
Means to an end, I am so sorry you feel this way. I also have no idea why your loved one is on hospice. But I will say hospice was a Godsend to us when my Dad, and a few years later my Mom, were on it. And the Morphine was a blessing for the pain that I hated to know they were in. They were also only here a few hours a day, so I did not feel as though my privacy was invaded. They just helped with bathing and taking vitals, as well as moral support for us. I hope things improve for you.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to pamzimmrrt

You can always switch hospice providers or cancel hospice all together. You are not forced to keep them on. Many people don't realize this.
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Reply to sp19690

I think it would be helpful if you find some counseling for yourself..are you aiming your vitriole at the hospice providers or at a sad situation where you are grieving and feel helpless? Hospice was a godsend for both my dad at home and mom in Assisted Living...I found them to be very respectful of our personal time together and caring. What you are describing should be reported if it is indeed reality...and yes, no one forces hospice on you , and you can always change providers. I saw it as a blessing , to both my parents and me, as well. Best of luck and peace to you and your LO.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to tygrlly1

You sound like you're either in some sort of pre-death stage of grief or really into conspiracy theories.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to ZippyZee

I had a wonderful hospice experience with my mother as far as wonderful that can be. The nurse assigned to her was caring and very communicative. She did receive drugs but she needed them for pain from bedsores.

The point of hospice is to provide comfort at the point where the individual has medical issues that necessitate the need for pain and calming medications. Otherwise why would they require hospice? Who suggested this hospice company to you? You need to find the ability within yourself to advocate for your loved one. What is their diagnosis? Medicare would not be covering the cost if there was not the need for hospice.

Your post seems a bit one sided. We are not aware of specifics regarding your loved one. Instead of being so unhappy why don't you try another company. I was always kept appraised of my mother's vitals. In the end she went a bit quicker but deep down she may have preferred that as she never wanted to discuss death. This hospice company has had follow up calls and literature sent to me. They told me they are available to me for 1 year after my mother's passing. I couldn't have wished for a better experience as a hospice provider.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Riverdale

If you are not satisfied with this Hospice Agency, hire another one.

The client is in charge of their care. Morphine is used for pain and ease of breathing. If ur LO does not need it then they can refuse it. Talk to the Hospice supervisor and tell them ur complaints.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to JoAnn29
meanstoanend May 31, 2023
I would think this would just bring more problems.
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