Follow
Share

My mom has moderate dementia and lives by herself. I am her primary caregiver and her Power of Attorney. My mom's dementia is getting worse. So, it is really hard to convince my mom to go to her appointments. She always gives me a hard time to get her to go. Even If I tell her that we are going out to lunch or just going for a ride, she can always tell when we at the clinic. She won't get out of the car if she refuses to go to her appointment. So, I end up cancelling her appointment. It is much worse for going to a neurology appointment. She really refuses to go to neurology appointments. She thinks that doctors just wants to make money off of patients. She also thinks that there is nothing wrong with her. There was one time when my mom hade really swollen ankles, because she has heart disease. I made an appointment for her to get her checked out. It took a lot of convincing to get her to go. It is so stressful to take my mom to her appointments. I don't know what to do to make this situation easier. I am starting to hate to take her to her appointments, because she gives me such a hard time. Her confusion is worse, so it is very frustrating.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
We would schedule the appointments for 1:30pm. Mornings are always slow, but mom likes to go to lunch, we do that at 11:30 to beat the crowds and then go to the MD right after. She's always calmer on a full tummy. When she had a weekly visiting nurse, she really attached herself to the RN, and if the RN said she needed an office visit, she went meekly as told. Just a hint: when mom's legs were swelling up, it meant she skipped her diuretic pill or she was getting too liberal with the salt. I finally stole all the salt out of her cupboards and left her with Morton's Lite Salt in the shakers and nothing else.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

NHMom makes an excellent suggestion. Any of your mother's doctors can script for home care, and the nurse can report back to hher/him for instructions if anything is amiss. Then your mother can be seen in the comfort of her home.

It occurs to me that perhaps she dislikes going out so much because it's confusing and disorienting, especially if she has afternoon appointments and comes home toward evening (if sundowning is involved).

I had planned to suggest bribery, such as going out for lunch or dinner or a special treat, but it sounds as though your mother's too sharp to see through this ruse.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You don't say how old your mother is. I firmly believe a lot of the "routine" follow-ups for elderly people are unnecessary and causes them a great deal of stress. Unless they are in pain or discomfort they can't see the need for the appointment and tend to think the doctors are just using them to pad their pockets. Maybe a visiting nurse would make you more comfortable with her missing appts. A nurse could keep track of BP/ sugar levels etc. and let you know when it is urgent that your mother see her physician. If the nurse told your mother it was important to see her doctor because of a medical problem she had noticed, she might be more willing to go.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.