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IMO, yes its up to the Neurologist to sit you husband dow, look him in the eye and tell him what the tests have found. Moms did it with her.

IMO, as soon as there is a diagnosis of Dementia, the drivers license should be suspended. The car sold or taken somewhere other than the place the person lives. My Uncle got lost driving in another state he used to work in and knew all the roads. He drove to the same place all the time, this time he forgot how to get home.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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From your answer to us below, Angel, you are seeing decline and guessing at the results of this testing coming. YOU should tell the neurologist that you depend upon him/her to fully discuss results with both YOU and HUBBY together, and to give a printout of instructions as regards any driving, etc. to you and hubby, one you can reference together for his safety. I think it crucial that if hubby will now be dependent on your guidance he be TOLD that and be told that he can only remain home with care so long as he can cooperate with limitations; when he cannot he will need to be in memory care for his safety. This will give him some honesty and will help him to KNOW he cannot ignore this.

Denial, as you and the doctor BOTH KNOW, is a serious problem in safety and care now and ongoing. See to it that you and hubby are together and that he's fully informed in a way to keep denial at bay.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My husband's doctor initiated discussion by talking about the dementia symptoms that he was experiencing. He was straight with him and empathized, saying that we can cure so many illnesses of the body, but with dementia, there is no cure, isn't that sad? Husband agreed, and doctor talked about available medicines to alleviate symptoms, which husband agreed to. Husband had no problem giving up driving and decided that for himself.

My mom and dad were never told that they had dementia. Doctors discussed it with me, their POA.

Another relative who had a stroke and some dementia was still driving at the time. I was concerned and discussed this with the rehab doctor. The doctor made it clear that he had the authority to lift the license and would do it if necessary. This was in Florida. Doctor suggested a driving test to be administered by a part of the rehab unit. It was administered, and relative passed. Unfortunately, the tester missed some serious deficiencies, and relative continued to drive. I was not POA and couldn't do anything but continue to ask for repeated tests.

There are many scenarios that can play out. You MUST not allow husband to drive if he shouldn't be driving. Lives are at stake, including your husband's. His likelihood of depression - start thinking, so what? He can take pills for that, but if he kills someone by motor vehicle, no pill can fix that unfortunate victim, and husband could face serious charges.
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Reply to Fawnby
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[ I'm going to call your post to the attention of the admins so they can relocate it to the Questions section... ]

I'm sorry for this distressing situation.

Is the neurologist going to do brain imaging? I think if the neurologist gets test results that permits a more specific dementia diagnosis, s/he will discuss the trajectory of the disease, and maybe even treatment options (like Aricept).

No, doctors don't have the power to take away peoples' driving privileges, but if your husband's test results are "bad enough" (like he scores very low on a MoCA written test for executive function and a virtual physical reaction test) the doctor is a mandated reporter and would send that info to the Dept of Public Safety who will then send him a letter cancelling his DL. At least that's how it went for my Mom here in MN. Each state's process might vary.

Hopefully you are your husband's PoA for medical and financial so that you can talk privately with his doctor about his dementia. Depression is a very common side-product of a dementia diagnosis so there are meds for that, and the doc can prescribe them.

My MIL took meds for depression and my own Mom now takes them, both due to dementia. It helps a lot once the right meds in the right dosage are figured out.

Make sure that you have all your legal and financial ducks in a row. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I wish you peace in your hearts on this journey.
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Reply to Geaton777
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My husband has an appointment with the neurologist next week and memory tests will be performed again. I see a decline this past year so just wondering if the neurologist tells the patient directly that they have declined and now in Alzheimer’s stage has anyone gone through this?
Will they take away his license? If that’s the case he will be so upset. I am afraid he will go into a deep depression.
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funkygrandma59 May 21, 2025
AngelT, hopefully your husbands neurologist WILL be straight with your husband and not sugar coat anything as that will not help anything.
And hopefully they will also tell your husband that he shouldn't be driving anymore as someone driving with dementia is no different than someone driving drunk or high on drugs.
I'm sure you don't want your husband killing someone while behind the wheel because he was driving confused right? And who cares if he gets upset? I'm guessing he'd be more upset if he were to kill some innocent child/person.
These things are hard, but you're going to have to develop a backbone, to now do what you know is best for all involved, husband being mad or not.
And if he gets depressed, please know that that is almost a given when someone has any of dementias, so please talk to his doctor about putting him on a antidepressant.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.
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