Should I correct my mother when she repeats questions?

Thank you all for sharing. I too began experiencing the repeated questions a month or two ago and now realize the best way to handle it.

It's definitely a tough path we are all on when dealing with any kind of dementia. I sincerely hope your husband improves. But I still think you have to live in the present and deal with your loved one's current reality.

I'd be so happy to see my too-thin husband want to eat that I'd keep the sandwiches coming, but I'm sure that is not universally applicable. In your situation perhaps you can avoid discussing what he does or doesn't remember in the immediate past, and focus on what is going to happen next. "I'm planning to make a snack for both of us at 3:30. Can you help me fold some towels now?" "It's almost time for your morning exercises. Let's wait and see what you feel like eating after the exercises." If you don't think he should have another sandwich just yet, perhaps it would help to come up with a different reason that "you've just finished eating one!"

As he improves, you can change your approach. But right now he can't remember what he did 10 minutes ago. How are you going to help him re-learn reality?

My husband's type of dementia (LBD) is characterized by cognitive fluctuations. What works in dealing with him when he is cognitively sharp does not work when he is mentally weak. I think you may be in a similar situation, in that your loved one's present state may not be his permanent state. All I can figure out to do is live in the moment.

konacaregiver, I've done plenty of layperson research. I've discussed my husband's dementia with his internationally acclaimed dementia specialist at the Mayo Clinic and internationally respected sleep specialist, as well as his award-winning geriatrician. Hubby is donating his brain to further research (when he is though with it!) We both care very much about getting to the bottom of this disease, even if it won't help the current generation of victims. I took a year off of work to arrange to use these care providers, to research, to haul hubby to endless appointments, to carefully titrate one drug at a time under a doctor's supervision, and to deal with the huge, huge stacks of paperwork for insurance and aid. I am now back working full time (from home) and also caring for my husband 24/7, through all the ups and downs of his roller coaster dementia. I respect Ruth's beliefs and practices, but I don't share them all. And I respect your right to make up your own mind about how to care for your loved one.

But, by golly, please do not casually throw around words like lazy, scared, uncaring, and too busy in front of me. Until you have walked a mile in my mocasins, kindly refrain from speculating why I'm not doing a better job on this journey.

There are lots of questions that come up repeatedly, and I've learned to ask them of her, instead. "What day is it again? I forget." "Did you tell me what name that color is?" "What are we doing today?" ..

Of course there are the inevitable repeated questioning that aren't typical, and yeah .. answer like it was the first time, the touch thing is great .. so is eye contact. I often lean down and touch her knee and make sure she sees me. It's not that she really remembers the answer, it's more like it no longer matters. (Whatever works, eh? lol)

My mil has dementia, is legally blind and reduced hearing. We have no option of writing things down or puting things in plain sight for her. Wish we could.
The constant repeating is irritating, for sure. I start out giving a full answer then find myself reducing it each time, until it becomes a worn out few words. If shes not too wound up, she will realize she is being a pain & try to stop. Usually has to go sit in other room & fall asleep or space out.
I sometimes temporarily distract her with watching birds or checking the mail.
My biggest concern is the fear that it is changing me! I am getting used to this slow repetetive conversation that circles around, never getting anywhere. My adult kids complain if I repeat a story one time . They treat me like I am the delusional one, sometimes! To them it's just funny, but it really gets to me .
After 3 plus yrs of living in her house 24/7 I am very tired. I can' keep track of news events cause she distorts them & adds to them so much! I try to laugh when I can. I just dont find it funny, as often as i used to.
Thanks for this discussion. At least i can vent here...:-)

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My 7 years experience as a primary care giver for my wife led me to learn that her repetitive questioning mirrors her need to be reassured that she is not alone and that somebody "cares" for her to respond. Yes, it also takes me about two hours to help get my wife dressed. It's all in our job description. Good Luck! Gene Conrad

in My Last Answer I am Already Discuss you about dementia Cause & Reasons.
Its Like A Diease in Which pateint Think About Future & Realise that Today is Tomorrow. The Best Trick to resolve..Spend Full Time With Your Mom & Play Games,Write,Enjoy Your Hobbies.Than You Can Divert Your Mon's Mind.

I just want to say you all give such good advice I thank you all and god Bless you.

I am in your shoes. I care for my Mother 24/7 with a few hours off each week to go to my business. I find that reminding her that she just asked does no good at all. It only makes her feel burdensome and vulnerable. We can not change the situation, only how we react to it, cliche but true. Try to remember that for her it is the first time. It helps me to think of her as childlike, or a person with a disability, in reality, she is both. I wouldn't snap at a four-year-old for asking questions, nor would I tell a disabled person to hurry up. I know how trying it can be, that's when I take a long bath, or the dogs out for a walk. We are not saints, but we have to remember we are doing the best we can, even when our best doesn't feel quite patient enough.