My husband and I purchased a house with our son and fiancé. We're at the point where we need to set monetary, tasks and expectations "rules". Yes, this should have been done at the beginning. We'd been talking and created broad strokes of these over the last year. Now we need more structure. Where might I find sample documents? He has ALZ; I'm overall healthy. Thank you,
This is a bad idea. All four of you need to go to a lawyer together and figure out what this arrangement is going to look like when it turns into a mess, and it will. What's the arrangement if your husband has to go into residential care? How about if your son and the fiance decide to call it quits and and the property has to be mortgaged or sold? Is there a 'caregiving' agreement as well? Or is it just assumed that your husband and yourself will be taken care of in the home my your son and his fiance?
Get yourselves to a lawyer.
Calling it "Shared Living Expenses " in a care contract means no taxation of that money.
Things like this are the reasons that a good attorney is needed in these agreement.
Be certain to designate EVERYTHING from privacy expectations to costs. And be certain that review of contract every 6 months or so is included, acknowledging that when it is not working for ONE family member then there will be separations and placement in a timely manner.
Do understand, that being elders and living with younger family members is a situation with a CERTAIN DOWNWARD TRAJECTORY. Things WILL change, and that change will NOT be for the better.
I've pretty much do not have a mom due to the State of Oregon's Justice System. Her Guardian and the laws don't have to tell me anything. I had to hear thru the grapevine that she is in a Memory Facility. I live 7 minutes driving time to her house. I thought that a biological daughter would have had to be notified, that's how her State of Oregon court appointed attorney, her Guardian, the Guardian's attorney keep this all a secret from me, but tells my biological sister is told everything. THEIR A CULT!!
They're not a cult in the state of Oregon or anywhere else. Your mother has a court-appointed Guardian because she could not care for herself and no one was adequately looking after her. The Guardian is not obligated to communicate anything with you or your sister, but since they're keeping your sister updated, you should talk to her.
If we had to do it over….. definitely at least seeking advice from an elder care attorney versed in Medicaid. Even if you look up contracts on your own & do it that way, go to the attorney for a free consultation or pay a little to have them look over your contract & how you are handling money to make sure everything is good, even if you don’t think LTC Medicaid will be needed. You never know.
We have weekly family meetings. This will be the next item up for discussion.
We never know what tomorrow will bring. Like buying your house. Are you all on the deed? Lets say all 4 of you are. Husband has to be placed, money runs out and Medicaid is needed for his care. 1/4 of that house belongs to him. 1/4 of that house is part of the Medicaid recovery. Upon death a lien will be placed on that home. Don't have to sell it, but if the house is sold, that lean gets satisfied.
An Elder Lawyer is versed in Medicaid. Thats why you need an EL to write your contract because he will look at how it could affect Medicaid down the line.
Elder law attorneys know all the tricks. For instance, if you make shared living expenses the phrasing by contract then this is not taxable income whereas "rental" is.
So you want expert advice for such decisions.
Do you expect them to pay their fair share of ALL household expenses?
Do you expect them to help out with caring for your husband? If so what compensation will they get?
What happens if they can no longer help care for him?
what happens if one or both loses a job?
What happens when / if they break up?
What happens if/when children enter the picture?
Please see an attorney. An Elder Care Attorney would be your best bet and while you are there make sure you have all your "legal ducks in a row"
One more thing to consider...what happens if something happens to you first? Where will your husband end up? Who ends up with the house? Will it have to be sold to provide care for him?