This is a major reason why family caregivers "put" their loved ones into one of those "horrible, cruel, miserable" assisted living or memory care facilities….
where there are teams of professionally trained caregivers who know how to handle this issue. They work together to make sure that your LO is checked at least every 2 hours, changed if needed or if not needed in some cases, and cleaned meticulously so that skin irritation and infection don't develop. Through it all, these professional caregivers are cheerful, kind, helpful, personable and encouraging to the patient. There is a director of nursing to oversee care of your loved one and to make sure proper procedure is followed.
My husband is in such a facility now. At a certain point, in most cases, it is impossible for a family caregiver to provide the best care at home. I'm so sorry you're in this situation as many of us have been before you. But it's time to think of alternatives to home care of your husband.
I'm glad your husband is in a good facility. He is lucky. The place he's in is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to nursing homes and memory care facilities.
Beck, at the point this happens, along with all else involved in aging care, it is no longer a one-woman job. This may mean that several shifts with several workers on each is required to provide safe, adequate and competent care. Sometimes, much as we wish otherwise, things just are no longer sustainable. I am so sorry for all you are going through, but there just isn't a "fix" for this.
He needs adult diapers (briefs with tab closures). Also, large adult size wipes. Walmart's assurance brand is good. You will also want to start buying disposable underpads to place under him on the bed and furniture, because diapers will leak. If his brief is being changed by a caregiver on the bed, these pads come in handy to contain the mess.
Lay the person down on their back, have them turn to their side away from you, or help to turn him. Start rolling the soiled diaper under him, with the bulkiest part under the legs, not under the back, then, turn him to face toward you and remove the diaper from behind him. Clean thoroughly with disposable cloths. I like to use a wash basin with warm soapy water for washing. I place a smaller plastic bowl inside a larger plastic bowl, with my wipes arranged around the rim of the large bowl. This way, when water spills, it spills into the larger container. And pulling your wipes out of the package ahead of time saves you the trouble of trying to pull them out one at a time with contaminated hands, while your hands are busy. Gently pat dry with a soft towel. Apply moisture barrier cream on their behind to protect the skin from wetness.
When I'm cleaning a messy bowel movement, I have two disposable underpads underneath his behind. The top pad will receive most of the wet mess, and that simply gets rolled up and removed, revealing a clean dry pad still under him. That, too, may become soiled. But, at least most of the mess has been removed and cleaned at this point.
Turn the patient again on their side, push a clean diaper underneath them, then turn them to the other side to pull the diaper through. Roll the patient on to their back, pull the diaper up between the legs, trying to get a good fit, and fasten with the tabs.
You will also want to buy lots of small 4 gallon or 8 gallon plastic trash liners to dispose of the soiled diapers. I have a small plastic garbage can on my back patio where I keep the smelly trash until trash day, then I transfer all to my large can that goes to the curb.
You can buy Incontinence briefs from online medical suppliers. I've always liked Vitality Medical. You can also find them at drug stores such as Walmart or Walgreens or online from Amazon. I buy my incontinence supplies from Walmart. Their store brand, Assurance is a good brand and well priced. I get the 36" x 30" disposable pads, Assurance wipes, and nitrile gloves. You can find all of those products from online medical suppliers as well.
This is one of the most detailed and useful responses I ve read on this topic in this forum, and I really appreciate that you took the time to explain everything like this, where I live, there is no assisted living and even asking for help to take care of a parent or partner is not really an option and ppl will take it as you dont wanna do it, and nobody teaches you how to do things, so I remember the first time that I had to do it for my father after his leg surgery as he also has parkinsons, I just cried for so long and felt clueless, I had no idea how to deal with the mess, then I watched videos explaining it later on, but I will never forget that day. Kudos to you for doing it every single day, I know it takes a lot of patience and courage and mental strength, and guilt but we get through it at the end. Thank you again for your time.
Speak to his doctor incase it’s his medication or other medical issue when my dad took pain killing tablets for his heel pain it dehydrated him and caused severe constipation- his symptoms likened to Alzheimer’s in a way as we cut them down ( clearing with doctor first) his symptoms disappeared we also got him drinking more even regular sips through out the day made a difference that said my father has an enlarged prostate do will wee more we use incontinence pass put into incontinent disposable pants depends on budget easier to change just whip out the soiled one and wipe down- cheap basin and flannel after wiping with wet wipes dipped into water with disinfedas and shower gel pick up some cheap small bin bags -the type used for tiny bins and put the soiled disposables in that we have a bin outside we then put the bags into speak to his doctor and get some anti chaff cream - the constant wet/leak will give him sores otherwise ! and monitor his toilet incase he isn’t going regularly did he’s mobile then maybe he won’t need so much at night we use slip in incontinence pad inside a disposable incontinence brief on his bed we put disposable incontinence sheet like dogs puppy pads They save a lot of washing sheets They do sell washable ones as well but if funds allow disposable ones are more convenient don’t forget gloves we use disposable adjust to your budget all the best
I never had to deal with. My Mom could still get to the toilet, I just had to help her clean up.
I would say treat him like you would a child you are potty training. Every two hours get him on the toilet to pee. After meals, put him on. If this is not something you can physically do, you may need to place him into Longterm care. Not sure if an Assisted Living would do this.
Toileting supervision Adult underware An over-toilet bidet. You need a plumber to add a hot water line, but cold water is still useful Memory care who will provide a team when all else fails
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where there are teams of professionally trained caregivers who know how to handle this issue. They work together to make sure that your LO is checked at least every 2 hours, changed if needed or if not needed in some cases, and cleaned meticulously so that skin irritation and infection don't develop. Through it all, these professional caregivers are cheerful, kind, helpful, personable and encouraging to the patient. There is a director of nursing to oversee care of your loved one and to make sure proper procedure is followed.
My husband is in such a facility now. At a certain point, in most cases, it is impossible for a family caregiver to provide the best care at home. I'm so sorry you're in this situation as many of us have been before you. But it's time to think of alternatives to home care of your husband.
I'm glad your husband is in a good facility. He is lucky. The place he's in is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to nursing homes and memory care facilities.
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Also, large adult size wipes. Walmart's assurance brand is good.
You will also want to start buying disposable underpads to place under him on the bed and furniture, because diapers will leak. If his brief is being changed by a caregiver on the bed, these pads come in handy to contain the mess.
Lay the person down on their back, have them turn to their side away from you, or help to turn him. Start rolling the soiled diaper under him, with the bulkiest part under the legs, not under the back, then, turn him to face toward you and remove the diaper from behind him. Clean thoroughly with disposable cloths.
I like to use a wash basin with warm soapy water for washing. I place a smaller plastic bowl inside a larger plastic bowl, with my wipes arranged around the rim of the large bowl. This way, when water spills, it spills into the larger container.
And pulling your wipes out of the package ahead of time saves you the trouble of trying to pull them out one at a time with contaminated hands, while your hands are busy. Gently pat dry with a soft towel. Apply moisture barrier cream on their behind to protect the skin from wetness.
When I'm cleaning a messy bowel movement, I have two disposable underpads underneath his behind. The top pad will receive most of the wet mess, and that simply gets rolled up and removed, revealing a clean dry pad still under him. That, too, may become soiled. But, at least most of the mess has been removed and cleaned at this point.
Turn the patient again on their side, push a clean diaper underneath them, then turn them to the other side to pull the diaper through. Roll the patient on to their back, pull the diaper up between the legs, trying to get a good fit, and fasten with the tabs.
You will also want to buy lots of small 4 gallon or 8 gallon plastic trash liners to dispose of the soiled diapers. I have a small plastic garbage can on my back patio where I keep the smelly trash until trash day, then I transfer all to my large can that goes to the curb.
You can buy Incontinence briefs from online medical suppliers. I've always liked Vitality Medical. You can also find them at drug stores such as Walmart or Walgreens or online from Amazon.
I buy my incontinence supplies from Walmart. Their store brand, Assurance is a good brand and well priced. I get the 36" x 30" disposable pads, Assurance wipes, and nitrile gloves. You can find all of those products from online medical suppliers as well.
when my dad took pain killing tablets for his heel pain it dehydrated him and caused severe constipation- his symptoms likened to Alzheimer’s in a way
as we cut them down ( clearing with doctor first) his symptoms disappeared
we also got him drinking more even regular sips through out the day made a difference
that said my father has an enlarged prostate
do will wee more
we use incontinence pass put into incontinent disposable pants
depends on budget
easier to change just whip out the soiled one
and wipe down- cheap basin and flannel after wiping with wet wipes dipped into water with disinfedas and shower gel
pick up some cheap small bin bags -the type used for tiny bins and put the soiled disposables in that
we have a bin outside we then put the bags into
speak to his doctor and get some anti chaff cream - the constant wet/leak will give him sores otherwise !
and monitor his toilet incase he isn’t going regularly
did he’s mobile then maybe he won’t need so much
at night we use slip
in incontinence pad inside a disposable incontinence brief
on his bed we put disposable incontinence sheet
like dogs puppy pads
They save a lot of washing sheets
They do sell washable ones as well
but if funds allow disposable ones are more convenient
don’t forget gloves
we use disposable
adjust to your budget
all the best
Best of luck.
Resources > Caregiving Topics > Incontinence
in the main menu of this forum.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-fecal-incontinence-214869.htm
I would say treat him like you would a child you are potty training. Every two hours get him on the toilet to pee. After meals, put him on. If this is not something you can physically do, you may need to place him into Longterm care. Not sure if an Assisted Living would do this.
Adult underware
An over-toilet bidet. You need a plumber to add a hot water line, but cold water is still useful
Memory care who will provide a team when all else fails
See All Answers