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wandaauzston66 Asked October 20, 2025

How do I become my friends caregiver? She is dying of stage 4 breast cancer, incurable.

JoAnn29 Oct 20, 2025
Anyone can be a Caregiver if they want to do the work that comes with it. If you want to be paid, as said, the person you are caring for pays you. Medicaid does have an in home program but your friend must fit the criteria.

If your friend is terminal, Hospice should be called in. A nurse will come about 1x a week. An aide 2 or 3x a week to bathe ur friend. Family or you will be trained to administer pain and anxiety meds. Family or you will need to care for her the rest of the time.

SnoopyLove Oct 20, 2025
Wanda, is your friend on Medicaid? Some states have a program called In Home Supportive Services (IHSS) that allows people to be cared for in their homes by a person of their choosing. My understanding is that the pay and hours of this program are limited, but this could be an option. I would contact your county’s Area Agency on Aging (part of the county’s Health and Human Services) to find out if your county offers this program. Here is a page on Agingcare.com that lists them by state:

https://www.agingcare.com/local/area-agency-on-aging

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Geaton777 Oct 20, 2025
I'm so sorry for your friend's diagnosis.

How old is she? Is she older than 65 and on Medicare?

Does she have any family or medical PoA who would be helping put care in place for her?

More information is needed, like: should she have a hospice assessment sooner rather than later? Are you her DPoA? FYI, Medicare pays for hospice, either in-home or in a facility.

If you are asking how you can be her *paid* caregiver, the answer is: she pays you from her own resources.

Please give us more details so we can give you the most appropriate guidance.

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