The agreement I have with my 96-yr old Mom (who lives next door to me) is that she gets in-home aids or moves into a facility when she is no longer safe to live at home (and I get to decide the definition of "safe") or when she cannot do her ADLs or when I'm overwhelmed by her care or management.
When it's no longer working out with them staying at home. When they are no longer safe, their caregiver is unable to provide care and stay sane, and their needs cannot be met with in home care.
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