Will my heart ever stop aching that my husband has to be in the nursing home? He’s been there almost a year but still cries to come home.
He has Alzheimer’s and didn’t recognize me as his wife. He thought our sons were boyfriends and would threaten to burn our house down. That’s why he can’t come home, but it hurts me. We’ve been married almost 34 years.
No it is a burden you will have to Cary with you the rest of your life. Watching someone you love die is something you can never prepare for. The only thing you can do is find a place to put those feelings so you can move on with your life and love again
I believe you are right sample. I am journaling which helps me put my grief down and it makes me feel better for a little while. Thank you for responding.
Just because you did your best and made the right decisions to keep your husband safe and cared for doesn’t mean it won’t continue to cause sadness. I’m sorry for both of your pain in this. Life threw you both an unwanted diagnosis and sad circumstance. Limit the time you listen to the requests to come home, they only cause more frustration to you both and don’t help anything. Remind yourself often that you’re still caring for him. I wish you both peace
Thank you Daughterof1930 Though it’s difficult sometimes to get off the phone or leave the NH when my husband starts begging me to get him out of there, I must do it. You are right! Limiting the time I’m listening to it is a must so I can keep my mental health. This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever walked through. I appreciate you for taking your time to respond. Sharing helps.
Of course your heart is aching. The man you love and married is no longer the man he is today. And that sucks. Dementia sucks! You are grieving and rightfully so, and grief doesn't go away for a long time, so be kind to yourself. You made the right decision to place your husband where you knew he would be safe and taken care of and where you would be safe as well. Placing a loved one is hard no matter the circumstances, but I hope and pray that you can finally come to terms with the fact that you did what was best for all involved and have peace in your heart about that. May God bless and keep you as you continue on this difficult journey with your husband.
Thankyou Funkygrandma59 I know deep down I made the right decision. I’m just not use to this heart ache that comes with it. I pray for others going through this. Alzheimer’s is so cruel for the person diagnosed but also for the family. I’m so thankful you shared your thoughts and encouragement and prayers. Thank God for this forum and people like you!
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Keep posting, it will help.
Sending support your way!
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Thank you for responding.
Though it’s difficult sometimes to get off the phone or leave the NH when my husband starts begging me to get him out of there, I must do it. You are right! Limiting the time I’m listening to it is a must so I can keep my mental health. This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever walked through. I appreciate you for taking your time to respond. Sharing helps.
You are grieving and rightfully so, and grief doesn't go away for a long time, so be kind to yourself.
You made the right decision to place your husband where you knew he would be safe and taken care of and where you would be safe as well.
Placing a loved one is hard no matter the circumstances, but I hope and pray that you can finally come to terms with the fact that you did what was best for all involved and have peace in your heart about that.
May God bless and keep you as you continue on this difficult journey with your husband.
I know deep down I made the right decision. I’m just not use to this heart ache that comes with it. I pray for others going through this. Alzheimer’s is so cruel for the person diagnosed but also for the family. I’m so thankful you shared your thoughts and encouragement and prayers. Thank God for this forum and people like you!