Is it true that retirement communities experience much promiscuous behavior due to more women than men?

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evdoddzoe Asked November 2024

Is it true that retirement communities experience much promiscuous behavior due to more women than men?

I’ve read from reliable sources that since women outnumber men in retirement communities including facilities, that women clamor for male attention which results in an unusually high rate of vinereal disease. Is this true?

Assisted Living Relationships Senior Health Sex

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score 1 · Answer 1

If you are a man in a retirement and you can still drive, you are guaranteed to get a lot of female, and sometimes male attention. And your payment will be "under the table" so to speak. So yeah those old folks are getting it on in their senior years, and I can't say I blame them. Do some searching in Google Scholar for the free journal articles that document this.

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score 1 · Answer 2

There is a documented rise in STDs among older adults. Many elderly folks live in retirement communities, therefore this is not a myth or misinformation. Here is info from National Institute of Health about it: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7177870/

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score 3 · Answer 3

evdoddzoe, I see from your other posting that you and hubby wish to downsize from a large home into a nice retirement community. There is a company called Erickson Senior Living and also Del Webb communities that have places on the east coast.

As for promiscuous behavior in such communities, you need to question the sources where said information is coming from. If it is on social media, forgetaboutit, not always reliable.

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Thank you. Elaine

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score 1 · Answer 4

I expect that increasing rates of STI's is more a result of that generation not using condoms than because of high levels of promiscuity.

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score 1 · Answer 5

Probably more IL than AL. My mom had a boyfriend at IL, it made her happy. But when she acted jealous and he didn’t like it, things were a bit rough. And then after she returned from an emergency surgery, he was aloof and it broke her heart. She would be in a terrible mood and so rude to me, and I would know they were in a fight. She said they used to kiss in the dining room after everyone left. Not sure it was ever more than that but she really liked male attention. Unfortunately he clearly had some dementia and now they are in separate ALs and only talk when he answers the phone. For real, she acted like he was more important than anything else. She didn’t even tell him that she had grandkids.

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My SILs mother was in Independent living as was the BF. Problem, he had Dementia and should have been at least AL but she took care of him. This meant he could stay because she was like an aide and saved family money. Well Mom started showing signs too and was having some physical problems. Meaning she could no longer care for him so family had to move him to an AL or MC. Mom was a trained LPN.

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score 3 · Answer 6

Not true, based on my limited experience (at my mom’s ALF and at a friend’s ALF). I have seen only one instance where two started living together in the same apt and in that case she’s got very bad dementia and sometimes goes into the hallway and yells that he’s got another girlfriend in the apt and wants a staff member to get her out, lol! Otherwise, people are very respectful, even when a few do find a “special” friend of the opposite sex they really enjoy being with. The facilities do keep their eyes open in order to guard each resident’s safety and privacy and they remove anyone who can’t comply.

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score 0 · Answer 7

Think it depends on the demographic and area. I worked in a community near east Harlem and yeah seen and heard some things no should have to see or hear older people do. It was far more comment where I worked verse other places I knew of in the city.

Got some stories.

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Care to share?

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score 2 · Answer 8

My daughter has worked NHs and ALs and says this kind of thing is rare. Not that it does not happen but not that much.

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score 0 · Answer 9

There are certainly people who wish to date in communities. And dating in this day and age means, usually, having sex after a couple of dates. If that’s considered “promiscuous” then the whole American population would be so.

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score 3 · Answer 10

I doubt it, but the idea sounds like a great premise for a new series on Bravo: The Real Housewives of Sun City!
😎👙🍷

Helpful Answer (3)

Yo rather see The Real Housewives of East Harlem 55+ community.

Those grandpa's and grandma's are a special kind of fresh. Worked at a retirement community and it depends on area and demographic where I Worked it was pretty common.

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score 1 · Answer 11

From my experience, nope, it's not true at all.

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score 3 · Answer 12

I would say not. I was a supervisor at an AL and there really wasn't promiscuous behavior going on. There were some residents who were together, but not many. Also, the generation of the residents at the time has to be considered. Promiscuous behavior was not a thing with the 'Greatest Generation' or the one before and many of our residents were were young in those times.

Dementia changes everything though. If a resident had dementia and it was progressing to the point where their behaviors became a problem, they had to leave. We were not a memory care or a nursing home.

Though a high rate of sexual assault occurs in memory care facilities and nursing homes among residents. That is an administration and staff problem that they don't handle well.

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score 1 · Answer 13

sounds like a rumor someone started for their own devious purposes. Honestly, I stopped being able to have sex at 69, due to changes in my body. now, I am 72. I think most honest women are the same. i do not want this post censored. It is worthy of discussion because it may keep some people from going into assisted living even if needed. difficult subjects should be discussed and brought out into the open to prevent another dark ages.

Helpful Answer (1)

The Villages, Florida Sun City, Arizona These are the 2 largest senior communities in the US, they are also IL, not just AL, MC and LTC. Look them up plus the urban myth about the STDs. On this forum I occassionally read about AL residents wanting to marry other residents. I also read that some seniors suffering with certain types of dementia ramps up their libido, but it's not connected to their emotions, just physically driven, also like OCD.

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score 7 · Answer 14

Not in my retirement community. I suspect that this is an urban legend promoted by retirement communities to get more women to move there! (However, plenty of women where I live are GLAD to be single. Due to past overwhelming caregiving chores of deceased husbands, they want no more to do with any of THAT!)

Helpful Answer (7)

I think so too, Fawnby. There are seniors who are in their right mind still who live in retirement communities and AL. They are not going to all of a sudden become sex addicts if they lives their whole lives not being that way. The AL I worked at, mostly the old guys hung out together separate from the old ladies.

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