Long term care facilities, reasonable expectations for diaper changes vs catheter use?

My father is in long term care. He has severe osteoarthritis in his hip and then had 3 strokes. He has regained some mobility on his left side but is still not able to walk. He deals with incontinence and I get angry calls from him on a periodic basis that he is sitting in wet or soiled diapers for a period of time. I call the nurses station (because I live in another state) and they state that the time he is giving me is exaggerated but they can only realistically change diapers every 2 hours.
My father wants to use a catheter because no one likes being in wet diapers but the facility doesn't want to use catheter because it is a rehab facility (short and long term) and because of the risk of infection. I am somewhat indifferent on which is better.
For others with relatives in care facilities that need diaper changes, what are appropriate and realistic expectations for them? Does anyone's parent use a catheter long term due to incontinence? Does anyone's bed-ridden relative change their own diapers? Are there any solutions here I might not be thinking of?