If you both have medical proxy on file with all the providers I don’t think there is anything you need to do, you are both authorized to get medical information and make decisions. The primary/backup is so everybody, family and doctors, knows who has precedent should there be a disagreement.
I call my brother and say I am taking a week off…all calls will come to you! Works well. He has a copy of the paperwork showing he is the alternate. Her facility honors it.
If you are the primary proxy then just talk to the secondary proxy and explain you will be unable to make care decisions for X amount of time, be it a couple of weeks, a month or two etc. As health care proxies the secondary proxy is there to take over if the first is unable to fulfill the role. Open communication is the key. My brother is secondary for our mother, I am primary. As her needs have become more intensive we talk regularly to discuss her plan of care, her finances etc. When I need a break, a vacation, I give him plenty of time to know so he can be available. Her caregivers are also told who to contact if I'm away. You need to reach out, and ask for help, as needed so you don't burn out. Keeping lines of communication open is the biggest help of all not only for ourselves but for being on the same page in caring for our mother.
Health proxy means you approve or decline Healthcare when the other person cannot. It is fairly simple. This has nothing to do with Financials. Right? When I traveled out of the country, my cousin would step in and volunteer. I would seal it wit a legal doc from my mom's lawyer for around $150.
As MACinCT says above, the health care proxy is fairly simple as long as you are reachable at a phone number. It is a matter of making a decision based on sound medical advice of the MD when the person you represent is no longer able to make that decision for themselves. A health care advocate can really be anyone from a nurse case manager to a friend with advice you request. But the proxy is there to make emergency situation decisions that the person cannot make for him/herself.
Unless the primary POA is absent through illness, or physically, there is no way the duty can be passed back and forth. If you are out of the country, or cannot be reached for some period of time off grid, it is important to make official letter of this, with information to contact, in any emergency, the second. But there is not way to pass the duty back and forth that I know of.
This is a good question to pass by an elder law attorney in your are. I sure wish you good luck.
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Are there some health care proxies who are really good and others that are not so good, like not answering phone calls?
The better ones I sense tend to be great advocates for their family members.
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This is a good question to pass by an elder law attorney in your are. I sure wish you good luck.