My mom is bed bound and eats very little, only liquid or pureed foods. She has dementia and weighs 66 lbs. How long can she go on this way?

My mother (98, dementia, skin and bones, bedridden) was hospitalized for a UTI, thought to be at end of life, told off the Dr. who said that, he told her she’d die if she continued refusing food, he realized she was “behavioural” and she was discharged to a care home, where she apparently eats/drinks enough to stay alive. That was 1.5 years ago.

My MIL was placed in hospice care back in Feb. She had basically stopped eating and drinking in January.

We were told she had 3-4 weeks, maximum.

She's still here. 7+ months later. Still only eating about 300-400 calories a day. Takes no meds but mild pain reliever and anti anxiety meds.

Her 'kids' do all the care, except for the minimum minutes the RN and CNA provide. She's waffles between wanting someone there 24 hrs a day to not wanting anyone to to come in. Right now, the kids go to her house at 7 pm, get her ready for bed, dose her up on Xanax and when she falls asleep they leave.

The stress is making my poor DH literally sick. I am amazed at how long someone can live on what's basically a starvation diet.

My mother stopped eating and drinking adequately in early February and lasted until 18th March. I asked about hospice and/or end-of-life care but got nowhere. We finally got her into a good care home but she was too far gone to recover by then.

I hope you find a better solution for your mum.

It sounds like she would be eligible for hospice. Do not let anyone put in a feeding tube, as it legally cannot be removed later. Good luck.

Hi there, I feel like we are in similar head space. My Dad is also bed bound, very frail and thin. But the difference is he has a feeding tube placed at the time of a cancer surgery/stroke. Watching this being drawn out is awful. How old is your mom? My Dad is 65. He had a stroke during a lengthy cancer surgery. He is now cancer free, but will likely die of frailty. My feeling is this could go on for quite some time. It has been 2 years since his stroke, but the last 6-9 months he has declined significantly. Almost feels like a lack of will to live. If you need to reach out, please do. Please update as time goes. Hugs...

My mom was extremely tiny, nothing but skin and bones. She had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. She died at age 95 in a hospice care home.

Your profile says that your mother has Parkinson’s disease also.

When a person is dying, they truly aren’t hungry or thirsty. The hospice team kept my mom’s mouth moist with a sponge.

My mom was bed bound for awhile before dying.

Is your mom on hospice? If so, please speak with the nurse. They are really good at seeing signs of the end of life.

Wishing you peace as you continue on in your caregiving journey.