My Grandmother refuses to eat all of her food. What do I do?

My dad is much older than your grandmother (he'll be 100 next month) but he had maintained his weight and enjoyed meals until recently. The doctor reviewed his weight loss with me and said that as we age this going to happen - you lose your taste for food, you no longer feel hungry, and your body no longer absorbs nutrients like it did when you were young. She has him drinking two Boost shakes each day and having someone with him at meals to encourage eating but not to "make" him eat. Also, don't worry about healthy foods so if she enjoys cake, let her eat cake. My dad refused all but a few bites of lunch the other day but then ate two ice cream sandwiches later on. Just have her favorite foods around, offer them often, and try to get calories into her instead of worrying about healthy foods or actual meals. Also, we have to accept that this is also normal aging.

My 95 yo MIL eats like a bird. She's lost a little bit of weight but just has a very small appetite. She's not overly thin, etc. So I do not worry about it and suggest you do the same.

Follow excellent advice from first 2 posts.

Cut yourself some slack. As long as she is capable of eating and willing to continue to eat and drink, I think you should stop worrying so much about it. It is part of the aging process.

Though you love caring for her, your profile indicates that you could benefit from some time to yourself. EVERYONE needs a break from caregiving. 24/7 is just too much for anyone. Get yourself some time to do something for yourself. Get out for a long walk. Visit friends or family.

Regarding your rich family that does not help, please try not to waste much energy being upset with them (if you are). This is so common, unfortunately. Many people have no interest in caregiving and we really have to respect that. If we are resentful about it, it can ruin our relationships. And shows that we need to change something if we're feeling badly about it.

Weight loss is common. It is also one of the signs that Hospice looks for when evaluating declines.
25 pounds in 2 years is not excessive though. 25 pounds in 2 months, that would be cause for concern.
She probably is not as active as she had been in the past so her nutrition needs are not as high.
Do not force her to eat.
You can offer more caloric dense food choices. Supplement with Protein drinks if you think she needs it.
As she declines she will eat less and less and sleep more and more. These are all signs of decline.
Just for support you might want to contact Hospice and see if she qualifies. They will help with Supplies and Equipment that you will need to make caring for her easier and safer for both of you. (forget about 6 months or fewer, my Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years, diagnosis dementia. It was because of Hospice that I was able to care for him and that he did so well for as long as he did.)

PS..please resist the urge to have a feeding tube placed.

Weight loss like this is problematic because it can lead to frailty, which can then lead to falls and a downward spiral. Do you know why she isn't eating?

First make sure there isn't a physical reason she isn't eating - tooth or mouth problems, digestive problems and/or constipation, or difficulties swallowing (dysphagia).
If there are no treatable problems then try to maximize the calories she does accept by basically doing the opposite of every diet you've ever heard of - here are a couple of articles that you might find helpful

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/high-calorie-foods-for-seniors-168493.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/pro-tips-sneaking-calories-nutrients-into-a-seniors-diet-208396.htm

Also some find it's helpful to have many snacks available rather than concentrating on 3 bigger meals a day. Supplements like boost/ensure were made for this.