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nymima Asked January 2023

Is this a memory problem?

Good Evening Everyone! I’ve been a member for a long time because I used to care for my mother for 10 yrs! So I had lots of questions. Now it’s my husband that has me concerned. He’s 78 yrs old. When he is telling me a story about something, he refers to anyone he’s talking about as “What’s his name?” or What’s her name?” It is starting to drive me nuts as it could be anyone in a long line of names that he is talking about. I have to guess more times than I wish. He recently saw his GP and I believe the GP tested him for memory problems that day, but my husband didn’t go into much detail. I didn’t go with him, as I didn’t expect his doctor to do this. He said they read him a story and then asked him questions about the story. I’ve asked him not to say “what’s his name” and to use the person’s name, but he continues to do this. He just doesn’t have the names in his head anymore. He also indicates a location of a house in the neighborhood as “the house on the corner”, but the house is not on the corner once I figure out what house he’s referring to. I don’t want to read too much into this. He will know the name of the person if I guess right, but it’s so frustrating. The doctor wants to see him in 6 months. The nurse made a special call to make the appt. I’m wondering if the doctor wants to follow up with him in regards to the test, or could it be just to make another general appt?

lealonnie1 Jan 2023
There is a fine line between chalking these types of things off to cute "old age related" forgetfulness and concerns about Alzheimer's and real dementia setting in. We all forget things and names sometimes as we age. But not all the time. We normally forget for a few minutes and then remember later, like freqflyer said. I too would be concerned if my dh forgot EVERYONE'S name and called ALL the houses the "house on the corner".

You have to go with him to the next doctors appointment to find out exactly what's going on. What was his score on the mini cognizance test he took? What is the doctors diagnosis, if any, at this point in time? Know the facts and deal with them.

Krep an eye out for other "off" behavior such as him putting the keys in the freezer or forgetting the directions to a familiar place you often go to. Or if hes confused about time and dates. When you combine that with the other things he's forgetting, then you know there's something going
on.

He're is a link to an article on what's normal aging and what's not:

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/memory-forgetfulness-and-aging-whats-normal-and-whats-not

I'm sorry you're worried and pray for a good outcome.

ConnieCaretaker Jan 2023
Heck, I call my kids "Hey You."

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sjplegacy Jan 2023
AgainX100's answer is right on!

Why did the nurse make a dr appt for him. Did he/she suspect some cognitive issues? Give the office a call.

Using generalities to describe things, isn't unusual. But is it the start of dementia? Remember, dementia is more than forgetfulness or using generalities. It also requires a person to lose the ability to function properly; to struggle with activities of daily living. It's not unusual for a person to not know a place or someone's name without a hint. Given multiple choice, however, the person can select the correct answer.

At this point I wouldn't worry about it, but, of course until the next appt., I suppose you will worry. So for his next appt., and all other following appts, be there, it's important. Your being able to describe what you observe can help the dr with any possible diagnosis.

And I wouldn't try to guess what he means when he says, “What's his name”, it only stresses you out.

againx100 Jan 2023
I'm assuming that his is a relatively new behavior that your husband is exhibiting? I can see where it would be annoying and concerning.

I would call the doctor's office and let them know about these examples of memory issues. There may be more things going on as well that you can relay. I would start writing them down. I'm not sure if they can give you information, but you can give them information to be used at hubby's next appointment. Maybe you can go to the appointment with him. I would.

You could stop playing the what's his name guessing game. I would not be able to take it! I bet the name of the person often doesn't really matter to the story that he's telling. So you don't have to guess. Just say it's OK to not know that name and what about him? Or be funny and say "let's just call him Mr. X for now, OK?".

I'd do some reading on mild cognitive impairment and dementia.

Good luck.

freqflyer Jan 2023
nymima, my hubby and I are both 76, and "what's his name?" is not uncommon on our conversations.

What happens is that the file drawers in our brain are full, so it takes awhile to pull out the information, and sometimes the information has been misfiled. Usually around midnight, the correct name will pop in our heads :)

I had an aunt who use to say "whatchamacallit" when she couldn't think of a name or name of an item. Eventually we figured out what she was talking about. She was only middle-aged at the time, and never developed dementia.

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