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JulieKac Asked December 2022

How many calories should a chairbound 93 year old need to eat?

My father is refusing to eat. He has porridge for breakfast but he hardly eats a mouthful at lunchtime and for dinner he will only eat a couple of spoonfuls.

JoAnn29 Jan 2023
Theres a similar thread going around. Question was asked for a woman and it said 1600. I am 73 and if I eat over 1500 I start to gain wait and I am not active. What I mean by that is I really don't go out of my way to exercise. So I asked my daughter, RN, who worked in NHs the question. She said she has seen little old ladies survive on one Ensure a day.

I was never a big eater. I fill up fast. But I have noticed that it takes me a long time to get the feeling I am hungry. I do not eat lunch as such, I just snack. Dinner is not a big meal. Many times my DH and I split meals when eating out.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2022
It’s tricky to get someone to eat. My mom would tell me that she wasn’t hungry.

She never had a big appetite ever. I remember her making breakfast for us before school but she only had coffee. She was a nibbler her whole life. I am not a big eater either.

I think we all have different appetites. I never eat a whole sandwich. I only eat half and stick the rest in the fridge for another time.

Did he eat well in the past or was he always this way?

Mom’s doctor told me to give her anything, even ice cream, to help her gain weight. She never did gain weight.

Near the end of her life she barely ate. That’s normal though. People don’t eat or drink then.

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ZippyZee Dec 2022
However much he wants. Don’t try and force him to eat more. You’re not making foie gras.

funkygrandma59 Dec 2022
His body may be getting ready to shut down preparing for death, and when that happens the digestive system is the first to shut down. And food nor drink should be forced on him as it can be very painful for him .
Perhaps it's time to bring hospice on board, as they will better be able to let you know what is going on.
Or as already suggested perhaps he's having swallowing issues which can lead to aspiration pneumonia, and is usually fatal. You can have his doctor do a swallowing test to see.
If it were me, I would get hospice involved.
Best wishes.

lealonnie1 Dec 2022
It may be time for a hospice evaluation for your dad. You can't and shouldn't force him to eat if he doesn't want to. If his body is shutting down, then food is no longer a requirement for him. You just don't know what's going on that's making him refuse food. Of course the human body needs more than 100 or 200 calories a day to thrive.........but not during the end of life process, IF that's what is going on here.

You can try buying him Very High Calorie Boost which has 530 nutrient rich calories in an 8oz shake. If the doctor prescribes it, you can purchase it at the hospital pharmacy where it's MUCH less expensive than at the store. At least that's how it is here in the USA.

Wishing you the best of luck getting to the root of what's happening with dad.

Daughterof1930 Dec 2022
What does his doctor say about the decreasing appetite? There could be a variety of causes, a medical evaluation is in order. Know that often toward the end of life a body cannot process food as before, ask if that is possibly going on

Fawnby Dec 2022
His body may be slowing down and if that's the case, he doesn't need to eat as much. If this worries you, try offering Boost or Ensure.

cwillie Dec 2022
The doctor told me to just try to get my mom around 1000 calories a day, the mayo clinic has a pretty good calorie calculator

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/weight-loss/in-depth/calorie-calculator/itt-20402304

Try to add calories to what he does eat top that oatmeal with cream and brown sugar, add cheese, gravy and high calorie sauces to his meals. This is what supplements like boost and ensure were originally created for.
You may need to explore whether he doesn't eat because he doesn't have an appetite or if it's because he has a problem with his teeth, his stomach, his bowels or difficulty in swallowing (dysphagia).

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