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Amartinstressed Asked May 2022

Why is my mother so selfish?

Granted she lives with us but she has become more spacey, she had a car wreck and we still don’t know how it happened, possibly weaved off the road but it resulted in a concussion, broken femur, hairline fractures in the vertebrae and broken ribs and fractured sternum, plus blood trauma in her abdomen. While she recovered she increasingly became more stubborn, I even suffered a miscarriage and she barely responded at all. So then my role changed from daughter to caregiver. She’s type II diabetic and recovered from everything fine, no physical lasting effects and can’t remember what happened ( much less cares). Every day I have to tell her when to eat, she’s basically eating junk to keep her blood sugar number elevated barely. I cook for her then she doesn’t eat at all, like she’s being punished. She lies about checking her glucose numbers with her meter, will make a sandwich and walk off to do something else, always has an excuse about her attitude and behavior when I point it out or try to help her, since she lives with us she has no interest in her grandchildren and has a oh woe is me attitude. She has no bills apart from dr. bills, no longer drives, and she’s increasingly hateful, even when we try to help her. I repeat myself everyday and repeat my actions with her everyday, nothing helps. She would rather sit there and deal without and when her number drops and she starts talking out of her head she acts like it’s no big deal.

JoAnn29 May 2022
Since Mom suffered a concussion I would start there. And I agree, that if she is not taking her medication correctly and not eating correctly, she may have had a diabetic episode and that caused the accident. If she can't control her diabetes she should not be driving.

My GF was a juvenile diabetic. In her 20s she was driving and new there was something wrong and was trying to get to her doctor. She passed out, hit a Van, and killed a mother and child. She lived with that for the rest of her life.

Your Mom needs to see her doctor. Her being spacey could be caused by her not controlling her diabetes. Or, from the concussion.

Beatty May 2022
Not impossible that a health event or symptom caused the car accident. Diabetes: uncontrolled sugar level/brain fog or even a TIA?

I think another full medical checkup may help? Won't hurt anway.

l send my sympathies for your recent loss. I am sorry your Mother is not able to show empathy at this time, for whatever reason. I hope you have other supportive people in your life.

It may be that Mother's health needs have, or are about to increase. This may lead to thoughts, conversations & actions on what to do. You have a growing family with needs that will change & grow also.

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BarbBrooklyn May 2022
Is she selfish, or is something physically wrong with her?

Consider calling 911 and have her checked out by the EMTs.

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