Protecting you from what? The fact that she's got dementia? Protecting HERSELF is more like it, in reality. People who are afflicted with AD or dementia are oftentimes in denial about it and refuse to accept their deficits or admit there's anything wrong with them at all. If your mother is living in IL and winds up getting formally diagnosed with one of the dementias, you'll have to have Plan B & C in mind with regard to moving forward with her care for the future. Living alone is not in the cards for elders with dementia, it's too dangerous. And being an only child as you are, it all falls at your feet, as it did with me having 2 elderly parents to figure out a care plan for. Mom had advanced dementia and dad had a brain tumor; each wound up taking both of their lives eventually. Dad passed in Assisted Living and mom in Memory Care AL this past February.
You may want to ask an actual question so you can get some helpful comments and suggestions about how to move forward.
I'm not exactly sure what your question is, but if you're just now realizing that your mom has dementia, the very best thing you can do for yourself is to educate yourself on the disease, so you can better understand why your mom is doing the things she's doing. Dementia is a progressive disease, and the person with it will never get better, only worse, so you need to prepare yourself. Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube about dementia, along with several books she's written, her latest being Understanding the Changing Brain: A Positive approach to Dementia, which is a very good read. The 36 Hour Day is also a must read for anyone dealing with a loved one with any of the dementias. Knowledge is power and is the key to trying to get a handle on this horrific disease. You are now on the rollercoaster of dementia, so I recommend you hang on tight, learn as much as you can and remember in most cases it's the disease and not the person.
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You may want to ask an actual question so you can get some helpful comments and suggestions about how to move forward.
Dementia is a progressive disease, and the person with it will never get better, only worse, so you need to prepare yourself.
Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube about dementia, along with several books she's written, her latest being Understanding the Changing Brain: A Positive approach to Dementia, which is a very good read. The 36 Hour Day is also a must read for anyone dealing with a loved one with any of the dementias. Knowledge is power and is the key to trying to get a handle on this horrific disease.
You are now on the rollercoaster of dementia, so I recommend you hang on tight, learn as much as you can and remember in most cases it's the disease and not the person.
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She lives in an Independent Living facility?
Has your mother been manipulative and dishonest with you in the past?
With dementia, those traits are likely to be magnified, not lessened.
Does your friend think your mom is trying to protect you? From what?
Does your friend have any experience with dementia?
What level of involvement do you currently have in your mother's care?