My mom hints about moving in with me. What do I do?

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Crystals9369 Asked May 2022

My mom hints about moving in with me. What do I do?

My mom has hinted and even come right out and said, “why can’t you take care of me?” She’s in a beautiful AL and basically getting the best care money can buy. She’s a wonderful mom but I have to remind her she put her own mother in a home. She will respond kind of sadly, “I know”. I can’t imagine caring for her in my home without losing my mind. It’s not only stress but too much time together could damage our relationship. I visit her twice a week and all we do is laugh. Isn’t this a lot healthier for the both of us?

Assisted Living Relationships

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score 0 · Answer 1

If she’s like my mother, move!

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score 0 · Answer 2

YES! Let me say that again, a few times - yes, yes, YES.
It is MOST DEFINITELY HEALTHIER FOR YOU BOTH!

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score 1 · Answer 3

Please stop having any conversation with her about this, it’s unhelpful for you both. My dad had a huge rule of his on making that none of his children could live with him and he wouldn’t live with any of us, said he’d seen it ruin too many relationships. I still value his wisdom. You’ve done well for your mom and are blessed to have a great relationship, just ignore the chatter “mom, aren’t we blessed to both have nice places to live, now let’s go for a walk”

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score 6 · Answer 4

Selective deafness isn't just for old people. Use it yourself and move the conversation to other topics if need be.

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LOL 🤣 have to remember that!

(2)

score 6 · Answer 5

*Hints* like that are just passing whims of fancy. Emotions. Treat as such.

They are not instructions for you to follow.

Oh Mother 😔.
I wish we could both live in a beautiful (insert: cabin in the woods/beach shack/fancy apartment in Paris/wherever).
But we are here.
Oh well. Shrug.
We have our homes. And we do alright, don't we?
Have a hug 🤗

Then enjoy your visit.

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