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Calic0w Asked April 2022

Mother (65) had her first fall. Any advice?

Today my mom, 65, had her first fall. She went to the hospital and has a broken hip and is having surgery tomorrow morning. She will need physical therapy as well. I have no idea as of yet whether she has any other medical conditions because she hasn't been to a doctor or had medical insurance in 5 years at least. I live 9 hours away and my sister 5 hours. I am here for my the next few days but I cannot stay. I do not have any clue what to do. She wants to stay independent, but I don't feel like we can risk it. She was on the floor all night before she could call anyone. I really need advice here.

BarbBrooklyn Apr 2022
CalicOw, understand that Medicare Part A (hospitalization) is free to those who paid into the system. Part B costs $170 per month,

You want to ask the sw at the hospital to find out if mom qualifies for MEDICAID (medical insurance for folks who are low income) or if she qualifies for help with her Medicare part B premium.

My mom (who has since passed away) had 3 kids who loved her dearly. We all n worked and had mortgages, kids in college and retirements to fund. When she broke her hip at agev90, it did not enter our minds for ONE SECOND that our mom should be cared for by any of us. Mom went to NH and lived a good life for and lived another 4.5 years there with us as frequent visitors.

Do not let ANYONE tell you that you must do hands on care for your mom.

Beatty Apr 2022
#hip - ER - surgery - acute hospital - rehab. If she lives alone, often inpatient rehab, but could go home with PT visits if deemed safe by PT.

Talk honestly to her heath team. Don't over promise help you can't actually do.
Be realistic. If you can stay one week after discharge, tell them. If you can't at all, tell them. It will help the staff make the safest discharge plan.

Keep you common-sense hat on! Some Mothers will add big pressure to 'get me out of here'. Want promises you'll move in so they can avoid a rehab stay or PT 'strangers' in their home.

You don't need to fly into town on a white horse to save her.

It's her hip after all. The recovery & rehab is hers too.

Be as interested & supportive as suits your relationship.

She's young so hopefully should recover really well.

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BarbBrooklyn Apr 2022
Calico, welcome!

Does your mom have Medicare?

Why hasn't she been seeing a doctor?

Does she work?

Is she getting Social Security,?

You need to see the discharge planning office asap. Hospitals start discharge planning the minute you are admitted by law.

You need to let them know that mom has no caregiver at home and that she will need inpatient rehab and support afterwards. Because you have tovwork for a living.
Calic0w Apr 2022
She does not have Medicare, said she couldn't afford it, and convinced me she was fine.
Doesn't want to see a doctor.. fear I think. She is not working and does have social security. I will go see the discharge office tomorrow. Thank you so much.
CTTN55 Apr 2022
Is your sister going to travel to your mother's, too? This is the first stop of what may become quite a journey. Beware of taking the burden on yourself.

Your mother's insurance situation needs to be figured out pronto. What kind of relationship do you have with her?

Keep us updated!
Calic0w Apr 2022
My sister will be her Friday. I plan on seeing a social worker today hopefully.
AlvaDeer Apr 2022
Unless there are a good many underlying conditions or other reasons, 65 today is very young. I am 80, independent and walk about 2 miles a day.
You say your Mom is not on insurance. Is there a reason that your mother is not on Medicare?
You will be now in a hospital setting. It is time to discuss with Social Services. Call them immediately and let them know Mom will not have a support system.
Your Mom will likely go to rehab. It is important to let Social Services at rehab know that your Mom has no support system in the area. She may require placement for some period due to this.
If your Mom has made no POA designations and no medical advanced directives, now is the time to consider addressing this; Social services can help and guide. If you, nor anyone else in family wishes to do this then it may be necessary in future to allow the state to assume guardianship or conservatorship should Mom become incapacitated mentally in future. That is likely some time away; as I said, your Mother is not old by today's standards at all.
Speak with Social Services as soon as you are able. This being the weekend get nursing staff to get MD order for Social Service consult soon as possible, leaving your phone for contact.
Best of luck.

Grandma1954 Apr 2022
Your mom is very young and you do not give any indication of other medical problems.
After her surgery she will go to rehab.
They should not discharge her if she can not safely care for herself.
If funds are an issue she should discuss with the Social Worker application for Medicaid.
You and or your sister can research on line what services she might qualify for. The Social Worker can or should be able to help with that.

InFamilyService Apr 2022
Your mom is young and hospital will probably send her to rehab for weeks to regain her strength & mobility. When rehab releases her to go home you may want to hire caregivers for a short time until she is able to care for herself. Make sure she has home PT, OT & a home health nurse for check ins. Talk with the social worker at the hospital for some recommendations when you do discharge planning.

When this was needed for my parents & aunt we put a lock box on her door so caregivers, therapists and home health nurses could come & go.

Mom may be ready for some kind of a life alert necklace in case she falls again or has an emergency. There are also in home cameras to monitor her and you view from your cell phone. My aunt has "Nest" cameras since she is alone after bedtime. Mother has a life alert necklace but she lives in an independent apartment on a senior community. Another idea for your mom.

I pray she recovers well. Is any family in town or closer to her? Would she consider moving closer to you or sister?

Please ask more questions here. We have all been through similar issues and are very willing to help you.

Isthisrealyreal Apr 2022
One thing I would get answered is, did she fall and break her hip or did her hip break, causing her to fall?

This will make a difference in her overall outcome and future care needs.

Because, if she has osteoporosis so bad that her hip spontaneously broke, she will likely end up immobilized pretty quickly without medical intervention and that isn't going to happen without medical insurance in place.

To bad she is learning the hard way, everything is fine until it isn't.

Find a Medicare broker, they will help you find the best coverage for her needs and that is what's really important now.

Maggie61r Apr 2022
In nutshell (per my own experience with my mom - definitely not the same with everybody & your experience may be different) speak to the social worker at the hospital regarding insurance. I believe she is eligible for Medicare (possibly Medicaid also).
When they deem her 'healed' enough, they will release her (usually 2 or 3 days providing there are no other health issues). The social worker can look into Skilled Nursing Facilities where she can receive physical therapy. Things vary on how long she will be there - insurance, progress with therapy, etc. PT can also continue once she goes home; again, it all depends on insurance.

If she does return home, I highly recommend getting her a medical alert necklace. Thankfully, my mom had hers on when she fell the last time while I was at work.
(This is a really quick, short description of what you may go through, but I figured I'd give you an idea of what to expect since you've never been through it before.)
Calic0w Apr 2022
Thank you so much! I will speak with a social worker tomorrow.
NannaJ Apr 2022
I am 66 and consider myself young and very active, however I have had a couple of falls too, but nothing was broken, just soft tissue damage. I would advise having a pendant alarm, which is what my mum has, so that she always has access to help. I would never want or expect you to give up your life or home for me and hope that your mum can get her independence back and enjoy a lot more years of good quality life. That's what I'm hoping for too. I may be 66 but in my head I am only 46. X

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