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HisBestFriend Asked April 2022

Assisted Living for DH and spouse?

Anyone have any experience in this area? Both of us going to assisted living VS just DH with Alzheimer's/dementia?

JoAnn29 Apr 2022
Yes, I have heard of this arrangement. In Moms AL I know of 2 couples who did it. It gave them a chance to stay with their spouse but have an aide to do the hard work. You could join in on the activities and outings especially outings knowing someone is there for your husband. You get your meals included. Have a kitchenette in your room. Some places have small apts. When the spouse died, the others stayed on.

My SILs father and Mother did this and her Mom was able to still do her volunteering and playing bridge. If you can afford it, I think its a great option. But...do it sooner rather than later so DH will except the AL as home. You may want to return to the east coast where ur closer to friends and family. You may need the support from these people and someone to have lunch with.
HisBestFriend Apr 2022
Thanks so much for the input here! I am just begin to look around at the options. I would rather be proactive than trying to catch up.

I wasn't sure my friend's experience is just not a special situation as she is in the Deep South. I doubt if the Idaho Panhandle will provide such a place as they are very slow to even have townhouses or condos for retirees, not to mention anything much for special needs.
Always appreciate your help and advice to everyone!
Geaton777 Apr 2022
Some facilities are campuses that have a spectrum of care, from IL, AL, MC, LTC and hospice. You don't have to live in the same apartment as him, but you can be close by in the same community in your own place.
HisBestFriend Apr 2022
I have a friend who moved with her husband to assisted living apartment. He died, she stayed independently. Just asking if anyone else had heard of this arrangement or tried it themselves.

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AlvaDeer Apr 2022
Need more information on you and hubby. What is his condition. Is it adequate for ALF? And if so, why not remain home with your support? Or is he in need of MC or something more; and if that, why would you go in yourself?
What makes you feel that you, yourself, are ready for ALF?
Is there somewhat unlimited funds, because you won't get two for the price of one. While there may be some lessening of the spousal fee, it won't be a whole lot I think.
Can you tell us more about your age, your husband's needs and requirements, and your own?
HisBestFriend Apr 2022
I am not ready. As I answered above to Geaton777, I had a friend who did this and am just curious if someone else had tried his or even heard of it.

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