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Lb102763 Asked February 2022

My 99-year-old grandma with dementia wants her friend to have her mother's antique lamp. What would you do?

She lives in a long-term nursing facilty. I have POA.

Sendhelp Feb 2022
Have you told your grandmother that you want it?
And asked her for the lamp?

MargaretMcKen Feb 2022
OP says that this is the only thing she was ever expecting to inherit from GM, it’s a family heirloom, and it’s really upsetting for it to go for someone that GM has only known for quite a short while. Understandable!

Perhaps GM could agree for it to be a loan to her friend, while it’s still a bit of a nuisance in her own small space, but for you to have it as a bequest eventually. If so, get it in writing. Best for OP to emphasise the family importance, to be handed down to the youngers in your family, whatever she thinks now of OP.

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Sendhelp Feb 2022
Do you mean the issue is to give the friend the lamp now, or wait until grandma passes?

Follow grandma's instructions, give the lamp to her friend, do it now.

Or, was that not the issue?

funkygrandma59 Feb 2022
Give it to her. I'm not sure I'm understanding your dilemma with honoring your grandmas wishes.
Lb102763 Feb 2022
Its just hard for me because it is the only thing I have left of hers and I hope she is making the right decision to give it to a friend she had only known for 3 years. I am really hurt that she would not want me to have it. She has really turned against me because she is now in a long term facility.
AlvaDeer Feb 2022
I would give it to the woman your grandmother wants to have it. I would tell her that if she "hates it" you would be willing to keep it and say you offered it to her but she doesn't have room for it, was afraid it would start a fire, whatever.

Sighopinion Feb 2022
Even if the lamp was worth a million I would honor her request. I mean does not seem like a difficult request.

lealonnie1 Feb 2022
Unless said lamp is a Tiffany valued at $100K, I'd honor your grandmother's wishes to give this lamp to her friend. Her lamp, her decision.

PeggySue2020 Feb 2022
Why not just let her have the lamp?
Lb102763 Feb 2022
She does not want it in her long term nursing home because she is afraid someone will steel or knock it over it is an antique from the early 1900 it, plus she is in a very small shared room.

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