Parent scared to poo, advice?

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Cappuccino42 Asked December 2021

Parent scared to poo, advice?

My mum has recently developed a fear to do no2 in the toilet. She’s scared of making the toilet messy! I keep telling her that is what toilets are for and some people go a few times a day. She keeps making reference to how the toilet is so white, flash and clean and she doesn’t want to make a mess. I keep telling her, it’s ok, it goes away with the water! She will announce she needs to go. She will sit down and then struggle to do her poo. It’s Iike she experiences phobia the same as some do for using public toilets but this is at home. She grew up on a farm as a kid and they didn’t have flushable toilets. They had the wooden dunny/hole in the ground. Is her memory going back there and thinking a white flushable toilet is somehow weird?!? This came to mind because she has started to scrunch/soften toilet paper in her hands as if it were hard paper/newspaper when it’s already super soft toilet tissue. She has also started placing the toilet tissue in the bin rather than the loo. How do I make her going to the toilet more comfortable. I don’t want this to lead to where she starts seeking other places to do her no2 because the toilet is “too clean or flash and therefore not appropriate for poo”. Note: it’s not flash just a normal white toilet ;)

Alzheimer's & Dementia Toileting

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score 0 · Answer 1

Your mother is showing obsessive compulsive features. Some people worry excessively about germs and contamination to the point that they wash their hands multiple times, until the skin begins to peel off. Tell her doctor about your mother's rituals and beliefs. Sometimes, taking antidepressants called SSRI's can stop this compulsive behavior. Most likely your mother was always a perfectionist. With advancing age those symptoms worsen. Psychotherapy or any other types of counseling are useless

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score 2 · Answer 2

There are actually real TOILET BOWL DECALS made specifically for the purpose.

I had an ivy set for a house we used to live in. If you could find one (Amazon maybe?) you could tell her you needed her to “fertilize the daisies”?

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JUST CHECKED ON AMAZON, and there ARE toilet bowl decals, including Bullseye Targets!

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score 1 · Answer 3

Has anyone had an opportunity to have a look at her bottom? The fact that she's telling you the toilet is too good to poo on doesn't necessarily mean that's the real reason she's struggling - there may be other problems, more personal and more painful, that she hasn't worked up the courage to tell you about. How closely are you able to monitor exactly what's going on down there?

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I haven’t but a doctor checked her bottom a couple months ago and said it appeared fine.

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score 0 · Answer 4

Completely empty the bowl of water.
Dry it.
Place decals on the basin. It could be "poop emoji, or just whatever strikes your fancy,. A Sharpie marker will work as well just make marks on the bowl. I used to draw a big "X" to give my Husband a place to aim.
The decals can come off when no longer needed as will Sharpie markers.

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score 1 · Answer 5

Capp, I was thinking the dark color of the commode might do just that.

I wonder if you could use some kind of waterproof ( i.e. Marine paint) to paint the inside of the toilet. And try dimming the lights; those dunnys were dark!

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score 0 · Answer 6

How about getting her a commode?

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I did think about that but when she was in hospital before, she refused to go in a commode as it’s so shallow lol. But maybe a dark coloured one could work,.. hmm. Maybe that would mimic the old farm toilets.

im wondering if adding colour to the surroundings would make a difference. I’ve kept the toilet clear of any rugs etc for ease of cleaning.

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Parent scared to poo, advice?

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