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We can't leave my Mother alone. She takes her pants off in the living room and on the porch and at night she removes all of her bottom clothing. She has peed on the furniture and she says that she doesn't know what she is doing. Sometimes she goes into the bathroom and doesn't know what to do. Can we help her?
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Thank you for your helpful answers. This morning she pooped on her chair and put her briefs in a trash bag I have next to her chair for her kleenex. I showered her and she doesn't remember a thing. It is sad and I know it will decline. We are talking about memory care for her but now I really don't know if that will be enough or if they will accept her. I feel badly that we can't really give her the care she needs and I worry that she will not get good care in a facility. I totally understand why others need to put their loved one in a care facility, this is sometimes overwhelming.
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lealonnie1 Oct 2021
Memory Care Assisted Living facilities are used to these behaviors and the caregivers are well versed in how to handle it. What kind of care can YOU give her at home that will be better than teams of people devoted to dealing with demented elders all day long? They're set up specifically to deal with these matters while we can't deal with it at home. You can visit mom daily in Memory Care, think of it that way.....then go home to recharge your batteries and sleep in peace. My mother has been in MC for 2.5 years now and is very well cared for. Do your homework and check some facilities out. Good luck.
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You can find anti-strip clothing for people with dementia.

https://www.silverts.com/womens-stay-dressed-jumpsuit-for-dementia-needs-full-back-zip-ponte-neckline-design?___store=english&size=7126&color=7924&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9uHH1qnX8wIVq3xvBB1YjAJbEAQYByABEgJ9jvD_BwE
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The only person you can change is yourself, and that is of course if you don't have Alzheimer's/dementia. Your mother obviously has some mental decline, and is probably not safe to be living on her own anymore. It sounds like it may be time to place her in the appropriate facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs. Often times incontinence will be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Your mother can't help what she's doing and sadly it will only get worse.
I wish you the very best.
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You can help her in many ways. Accept that she can’t change or fix her behavior, dementia makes that no longer possible. Have her only wearing incontinence products, she can’t reliably go to the bathroom anymore. Check with her doctor about the possibility of a medicine to calm her anxiety that’s maybe causing the removal of clothing. Consider getting her clothing that’s hard for her to remove, there are clothing items made just for this. And take a good look if her care is now beyond what you can accomplish in home., at least without more help. I wish you both peace
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