Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
C
chiyochan Asked September 2021

How to stay strong and think clearly when caring for a sick elder?

My mom has been living with me for almost a year now. She recently had to go to the ER where she was diagnosed with UTI and given antibiotics. As part of the diagnostics, they also uncovered cirrohsis caused by NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease). We have follow-up sessions setup with the GI to assess the stage of the disease and plan next steps. After this incident, we are having the following issues:


1. She is very anxious about where her cirrohsis is at, going through repetitive "why me" thoughts. This is completely consuming my cycles and I am conflicted between drawing the boundaries (and not getting sucked into the conversation every time), and having her air her thoughts (I am not sure if it really helps her).


2. I am planning on moving her to a separate city and in-house 24/7 care closer to good and more affordable medical facilities. This will give me some space to also live my life with my family and focus on providing financially for her care (as needed). She is emotionally needy and vulnerable and would prefer that she stay with me, however that would mean significant impacts to my family life and finances.


3. I would rate our relationship a 5/10 but we are cordial overall to each other. She has usually been a downer for me.


How do I stay resilient and maintain clarity during all this so that I do not destroy everything I have worked so hard for?

chiyochan Sep 2021
Thanks JoAnn.

Yes, mom is overweight --BMI 27. Has been a diabetic for 35+ years. Loved processed and rich food. Also prefers medications to lifestyle changes. Basic physical activity (household cooking chores) until recently.

Cover99 Sep 2021
Therapy for you and her

ADVERTISEMENT


JoAnn29 Sep 2021
No you "maintain clarity". You go along with your plans. I had a friend like your Mom. A phone call every so often and lunch out was enough. I can't imagine living with her. Her sons kept their distance. One moved 2 hrs away the other remained in town but saw little of her.

I would ask if Mom is heavy because fatty livers can be caused by overweight. I know my nephews numbers came down when he lost weight. This article says exercise and lost of weight may help. It also says she is probably insulin resistant too.

https://www.healio.com/news/cardiology/20160521/insulin-resistance-a-culprit-for-nonalcoholic-fatty-liver-disease?gclid=CjwKCAjw4qCKBhAVEiwAkTYsPJdsQ__RV6zYpI8IAIeir2Ro5UU1AC2DoLbPfXPNg6DlWLgS9uSbKRoCd0MQAvD_BwE

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter