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yvonne56 Asked September 2021

My husband of 40 plus years has developed memory loss. It is getting very tiring to take care of him at home. How can I get help?

How can I get help to place in in a long term facilitates? He also needs help for his alcohol and violent outbursts behaviors .

Grandma1954 Sep 2021
Is he a Veteran? If so contact the local Veterans Assistance Commission to let them help. They will help find out if he has what is called a "Service Connected Disability" this is important to help find out how much help the VA can provide. From a little to a LOT.
If he is not a Veteran it is a matter of narrowing down Memory Care facilities and taking tours. The forms that will be filled out will allow you to place him.

Next time he becomes violent you call 911.
Tell the dispatcher that you are afraid for your safety.
Tell the dispatcher that the person threatening you has dementia.
Tell the dispatcher that there are no weapons in the house. (If there are remove them NOW)
Tell them you want him transported to the hospital.
Once at the hospital talk to a Social Worker tell them that he can not be released to home as it is unsafe for you.
Inform the doctors/medical staff about his violent outbursts.

A lot of facilities have requirements that there be no violent outbursts for a period of time (60 days for example) so be prepared for that in your search. It may require a bit of time in a psych unit.

Geaton777 Sep 2021
The next time he has a violent outburst call 911. Tell the EMTs he is being threatening towards you and they will take him for assessment. Once at the hospital make sure you tell the discharge people that it is "unsafe" for him to come home because of his violence and also because you are no longer able to care for him. Keep telling them this as they will be very very persistent and pressuring you to take him back. Also make sure no one else in your family goes to get him to bring him back to your home. Then a social worker at the hospital will start to look for facility placement for him if he is deemed "incapacitated" to care for himself. You can get a restraining order to make sure he doesn't come back. The county will eventually get guardianship for him and they will manage his financial and medical affairs. You can still go visit him wherever he resides at that point. It's hard and will be hard for a while, then it will get better for you.

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Dskil57 Sep 2021
I know what you are going through.i have late stage serve dementia. I got medicade to help.and my specialist to help me.and also got a care coordinator two one from each hospital.ku clinic and also from north Kansas city hospital.ad will as the care patrol to they help.whstvi need .also get his main doctor involved.mine did she filled out the paperwork with everything.they will get it done.ti help you.with your husband.

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