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Bellerose63 Asked August 2021

How do I protect my MIL financially from her adult step- children? FIL passed less than 2 days ago.

Husband’s step siblings have descended on my MIL’s home that she has shared with FIL for 18 years of marriage. House and acreage are his deceased wife’s family property that he’s already had divided for his 5 kids. They want house and acre it sits on sold ASAP. They say he’s in huge debt and they must sell. They’re also combing thru papers and house looking for the $ they think he has tucked away ( from them). The BIG GRAB started as soon as sun came up morning he passed. How do we protect MIL financially and what should we know/ watch out for?

JoAnn29 Aug 2021
Great! I hope ur DH is Executor. Please come back and tell us how things go.

97yroldmom Aug 2021
Bellerose63

I am reposting your note below. This is wonderful news…well potentially if it protects MIL. Please keep us updated.

“Newest development: A former spouse of one of FIL’s children waited until the commotion ended for the day and MIL and her son( my husband) were alone to drop in to tell him he would be getting a personal copy of the ‘missing will’ for him to stick in his back pocket ( that’s an expression my deceased FIL used… hmmmm). Looks like someone no longer married into FIL’s family has instructions to get a copy of his will to us.”

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JoAnn29 Aug 2021
Who is the Executor of the Will? (I hope there is one) This person needs to stop this now. You cannot even probate for, in my State, nine or 10 days after death. Then the debts have to be looked at. Those need to be satisfied before any distribution to beneficiaries is made. Did he protect MIL maybe setting up that she is allowed to remain in the house till her death then the property reverts to the children? You may want to check with a lawyer if MIL has the right to change the locks.

97yroldmom Aug 2021
The emergency restraining order sounds perfect. Your MIL needs protection from her husbands family.

gdaughter Aug 2021
Bless you for looking out for her...what a terrible situation which boils down to you MIL being exploited imo. after all these years of being married....I pray you FIL had taken the correct legal step as far as his final wishes/papers...but I would immediately connect with a certified elder law attorney ASAP to get guidance and protection. That they have access to the house and might potentially find something would be very disturbing to me. So if I understand this, your FIL somehow gained the property through your MIL? This just seems wrong from many angles....Surely FIL wanted MIL to be protected, have a place to be etc? There is too much to know in this day and time to try and grasp it all. That's why it will be a worthwhile investment to get professional help and relieve your stress and burden. We can't be good at everything, and it's almost like we'd need a law degree to be able to handle this sort of thing. You and MIL can't afford to make a wrong move because the potential impact could be on the remainder of her life and her well-being. Let us know how it goes.....PS...and of course make sure this CELA (certified elder law attorney) is in the state in which MIL resides....
JoAnn29 Aug 2021
No deceased wife. So it goes to her children.
Isthisrealyreal Aug 2021
I would do an emergency restraining order.

I am so sorry for your loss. May The Lord give your family grieving mercies and wisdom to get through this difficult situation.

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