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Karyn72 Asked June 2021

Dad has cancer and his DPOA is my stepmom but she is deceased. What do I do to change it so that if we have to make a decision, I can?

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I am the only child in the state so I have always been the "caregiver", through his back and hip surgeries, etc. He has always said that I am the one to make decisions but of course chat with my siblings first. Well, now he has cancer, and I looked at his paper work. He has a living will, my brother is the executive trustee? but my stepmom is listed as the durable power of attorney, as well as patient advocate. The paperwork was dated 1997. However my stepmom passed in 2015 and he never updated the paperwork. I am his contact on all his medical paperwork, like emergency contact and that but what do I need to do to change it so that if we have to make a decision, I can? He keeps saying I am the one to make the decisions. He does have a DNR, I am aware of that.

Karyn72 Jun 2021
I am on his bank account as well, and am the only one for the safety deposit box.

AlvaDeer Jun 2021
They are already coming to you. It seems that they recognize you are the contact. Is your Dad capable of making a directive appointing you? Because it is a simple form for POA for health care, and a social worker can provide it. There are often volunteer notaries who will come to witness the document even in the hospital. As he has a DNR there, quite honestly, are few decisions left to make. It is unlikely with this diagnosis that people will do anything save suggest hospice. I am so sorry for this coming loss.
Karyn72 Jun 2021
Could I just print off a form online and have it notarized? I think that is what we did for our college kids. And my friend is a notary. But if we did this, would it void out the one with my stepmom on it? Sorry, it has been a crazy day. I am just worried about when we need to put him in hospice and all that, if I need to have this in place. Thank you for your response

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MJ1929 Jun 2021
Is there no successor on the DPOA? A good one should have two or three people.

If not, and if he's competent, get a new POA made immediately. It'll make life easier if he's well enough to do that. If he's healthy enough to go with you to his bank to fill out their POA paperwork, even better, because banks can be real sticklers about accepting perfectly legal Powers of Attorney that aren't theirs.

A living will isn't the best thing either. An Advance Medical Directive is better.

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