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fboddiejones Asked May 2021

My sister is scared to go to the bathroom for toileting and bathing. She is diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's. Advice?

We recently moved back home from Phoenix, AZ and she is not adjusting well. Prior to our move she was self sufficient (able to dress herself and go to the bathroom) and when we returned to our hometown I put her in Depends and she won't go to the bathroom. Sometimes I feel like it is deliberate!

againx100 May 2021
Sorry for the difficult time you are going through.

Change can be tough for many people, especially those with dementia. It is possible that she will adjust after a period of time. Try to be patient and make life as simple for her as possible. Have routines that she can get used to.

In your profile you said you are going to get some help. I think this is an excellent idea. It is so easy to burn out when giving this level of care. You need to take care of yourself too.

Good luck.

funkygrandma59 May 2021
Are you upset because she won't pee in her Depends? I guess I'm confused by your wording. To me it sounds like you want her to use her Depends and she won't. If that is the case, a lot of folks would rather not pee or poop in their Depends, but would rather use the toilet.
If it's the opposite and she now only uses her Depends, and not the toilet, then her Alzheimer's may have progressed more, as incontinence is quite common with mental decline.
Do you have a bedside commode that has handles she can hold on to, and get up easier over the toilet, and do you have either nonslip or no rugs in the bathroom so she feels safe when going in? Often a person as they get older are afraid of falling in the bathroom or shower, so you must make the appropriate changes to make them feel safe. That includes grab bars in the shower along with a shower bench too.
And as BarbBroolyn states, people with any kind of mental decline do not do well with change, so try and be patient. She is not doing anything deliberately. Her brain is broken and she cannot help it. If it gets to be too much for you, you may have to look into other options for her care. I wish you well.
fboddiejones May 2021
Thank you for your reply and advice. I will be looking into the bedside commode and the youtube videos.

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BarbBrooklyn May 2021
Dementia patients do not do well with change. I would not for one second think that this is deliberate. Your sister's brain in broken.

Have you heard of Teepa Snow? She is an occuaptional therapist who has some great videos on YouTube about how to talk to manage Dementia patients.
fboddiejones May 2021
I appreciate your reply and will certainly check out the Teepa Snow videos.

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