What can I do with an Alzheimer's 73 year old who is losing control of her bowels?

Your profile says that your wife has dementia. Most people who get dementia become incontinent as the condition progresses. For some, it happens faster than others. I'm not aware of any way to prevent it. It's likely to continue. Eventually, my LO would go in her diaper with no awareness that she was doing it. It can be very challenging to manage it around the clock. I'd discuss it with her doctor to see if the incontinence is happening due to her dementia, or if it's something else. I'd explore getting help. It's a tough thing to manage.

Incontinence products (Depends) are about the only solution. This was one reason, among many others, that I had to find my wife a new "home". You might try to put her on a schedule or contact a homecare agency to furnish an aide to come in.

Being a caregiver for my wife was the toughest thing I ever did. But we all have our limits of caregiving. If her incontinence is your limit, please contact your Area Agency on Aging, Alzheimer's Assn., or your state Dept of Aging to get other helpful information. Please know that you are doing your best to care for her and will always be her advocate and look out for her wellbeing.

Adult incontinence products. Depends type underwear. You can also put disposable or washable chux under her and they catch any over flow. Having a commode that she can get to quickly works good and doing a bathroom schedule is also helpful.

Have you talked to social services to see if she qualifies for any assistance? Contact your local counsel on aging and they can help you navigate through this difficult situation.

Please know that it is okay if you can no longer provide her the care she needs. They truly do get to a point that it takes a village to care for them. When that time comes you can get back to being her husband and advocate, and being there for her, which is so difficult when you are the caregiver.

I hope that the incontinence products solve your problem.

Does your wife wear any kind of diapers? If not, she really needs to. That way when she pees or poops, it will be contained in the diaper and make it a little easier to clean up. Also perhaps putting her on the toilet or bedside commode every couple of hours might help with that also.

I have an aide that comes every morning to put my bedridden husband on the bedside commode, so he can poop. She holds him up when he's done so I can get him cleaned up, and then she puts him back in the bed. Perhaps having an aide come in an hour or 2 every day might be helpful for you too. There is nothing easy about being a caregiver. I wish you the very best.