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dosborn61 Asked April 2021

Advice about looking for a caregiver/friend with experience dealing with dementia. Any ideas?

My mother suffered a stroke a year ago which robbed her of most of her memory and ability to communicate. She is also fairly blind. She is in a memory care facility and gets some care and companionship from the CNA's there but it's not a lot. They herd the residents into the TV area and monitor them and don't offer any individual activity support. Mom prefers to stay in her room. I am able to visit her 3x a week (2 hours or so each time) but I would like to find someone who can provide her some companionship and stimulation for several more hours per week. Someone who could read to her, listen to music, practice walking, take her outdoors and provide some eating assistance.


In the past when we've hired an agency they send a revolving cast of helpers, who mostly sit there looking at their phones instead of providing the help she needs.


Any advice is appreciated.

Carolfm Apr 2021
You might be able to find someone. You are able to post exactly the kind of help that you are looking for, and interview all applicants. I have found good help

MJ1929 Apr 2021
You have your mom in a terrible MC. I remember looking at a couple like you described, and I refused to put my mom there. Where she is they have different activities every half hour, and they make sure people aren't escaping to isolate themselves in their rooms. They also keep those who are less able to do activities separate from those who are more active and aware. There is a lot of music therapy all the time, too. They're all in the same big room, but they have different activities based on abilities. Most important is the TV is only turned on for a half hour after dinner.

There's one woman at my mom's place who has a hired companion, and she's very good with her, but this woman wheelchair-bound, non-verbal and pretty far gone. I'd think your mom would benefit from more socialization with other people. She's scared because of her blindness (as was my mother), but a good MC will have people who can work with her abilities. Also make sure the staff at her place is aware of her vision limitations and always identify themselves when they come up to her and don't touch her without doing it in order to avoid startling her.

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BarbBrooklyn Apr 2021
Can you find a better MC facility? The good ones provide guided activities at all levels.

For exceptional aides, my family used an organization called Visiting Angels. I think in the main what you want to do is find someone who is a good fit and then request her for all of the hours mom needs.

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