Mom won't/can't use diaper. Any advice?

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NYCmama Asked February 2021

Mom won't/can't use diaper. Any advice?

Mom, 98, fell and fractured dominant arm - in a sling. She was discharged this weekend and I am finding it so hard to get her in and out of bed to commode. She is overweight and has limited mobility. Until I get more aide hours, it's just my hubby and I trying to get her to a commode by her bed. I cannot do it alone. I ask her to urinate in her diaper and she says she's trying but cannot. Is there something I can do to get her to "let go"?

Adult Diapers Family Caregiver Toileting

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score 0 · Answer 1

It can be difficult to get used to going in a diaper, but let her sit/lay there long enough and she will go. Assure her it is ok to go and leave her alone for a while. Sometimes they just need some privacy. Gently putting pressure on her stomach, around the bladder, can also help. Also, do you want her to poop in the diapers too?

Good luck!

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score 0 · Answer 2

This is very useful advice to me, thank you so much.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Would putting her on a bedpan every two hours be possible for you? Then put the commode somewhere else?

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score 0 · Answer 4

Is she on pain meds? When I am on them, I can’t go number 1, no matter how hard I try. It’s not about wanting to go or not. My brain just won’t send the correct signals.

For me, letting her suffer until she is in so much pain from her bladder sounds cruel. Can you possibly get someone else to help you?

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I don't let her wait and yes, I have help but not 24 hr help. She is on Tylenol. She wants to urinate ever 2 hours, and she's overweight, so its hard to manipulate her. She so used to getting up every 1 1/2-2 hours that it's now an ingrained habit. Was just looking for ways to help her void into her diaper because getting up and down to bedside commode is very taxing on her.

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score 2 · Answer 5

Many people find it very hard to 'let go' on a pad or bedpan. (I am one). I think in hospital it took til I was seriously uncomfortable & drugged LOL!

Don't use drugs! Place the most absorbent depends & bed pad (we call them 'kylie') & reassure her. When she gets over full it will happen. Or make her laugh 😉😂

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Thank you.

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score 5 · Answer 6

I suppose if you left her long enough that she wouldn't have much choice.

If she is all there mentally you need to explain the risk of injury for you and your husband. Hopefully, she cares enough about you guys to not want you injured.

I would also not let her stay in bed, make her get up and sit in a chair for part of the day.

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Thank you. She has dementia so she cannot remember, and has limited mobility. We do get her up to sit in a chair too. We're trying our best not to stress her out in any way, but it seems if she can't let go into a diaper, she will need to be walked to potty.

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score 1 · Answer 7

my grandmother fell, 86 fracture left shoulder- she is skilled rehab and we hope to have her home after her days are up and not admitted resident. That is what i'm worried about too-the bathroom usage. we were home after the fall but she got dehydrated and had UTI- so she got admitted then went to rehab- don't let her stay in that bed - we did that it got harder! if she does regain strength that im praying for- i hope she can use the commode.

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Mom won't/can't use diaper. Any advice?

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