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jodiannie Asked August 2020

Mom is currently in a nursing home receiving physical therapy. Any advice?

She was there previously and did so well she had to leave. Shortly after getting here she decided she needed to be waited on hand and foot to take all her meals in her room etc. She is a mean, demanding person that has no thought or concern for anyone but herself. Since covid started it has been just the 2 of us and someone had to be with her 24/7. She is supposed to be coming back 8/20 and we cannot get a response from the organizations that are to provide in home help and we cannot do this on our own anymore.

Mysteryshopper Aug 2020
I agree that it doesn't sound like bringing her home again would be a good option. However, if you decide to do this and you're dependent on home help in order to do so, I'd check into several things.
How many hours per day will she have help?
Specifically what type of help will be provided?
What are the credentials of those who are coming to help?
Who do these helpers work for?
How many weeks/months of help will you get vs how much help will you need?
Who is paying for the help and how much does it cost?
What if more help is needed?
What if there is a problem with one of the helpers (personality or otherwise)?

I can only speak from my own experience. Discharge planners will say all kinds of things such as "we will get help for you." Once you're home with loved one.... that's when you find out reality and how unsafe and unsupported you really may be.

Ahmijoy Aug 2020
Yes, absolutely do not bring her home. Be adamant that this is an unsafe discharge. If they claim they can get you home care, explain you’ve gone that route and have gotten no response.

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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
Tell the facility that you can not safely care for her. Period, end of discussion, UNSAFE DISCHARGE. This will prompt them to look at a different solution. Stand your ground and tell them it doesn't matter what she says, you can not care for her.

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