Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
C
CANDYCANE124 Asked June 2020

Do you tell your loved one that they have dementia?

cwillie Jun 2020
I'm always confused when someone asks this question, there must be an awful lot of lily-livered doctors out there because I can't imagine a scenario where the person is not told why they are being tested and are personally given the results. If diagnosis only comes after the person is of advanced incompetence and can no longer comprehend what they have been told (by the doctor!😠) then I see no point trying to force them to understand.
Isthisrealyreal Jun 2020
I personally found out when my dad was in the hospital actively dying, he was in heart failure with 70# of water weight on his body. He was told by the doctors, but he was so sick that he doesn't remember any of those conversations.

I can imagine that this is a common scenario.
Isthisrealyreal Jun 2020
I got called nasty names for saying that the brain scan shows dementia.

I don't think I would have said anything if I had better advice when my journey started.

I don't bring it up anymore, but on occasion I get the stink eye attitude about saying he had dementia when he didn't. Ookkkaaayy! Dad, how's your weather? Ugh! It can be so difficult.

If your loved one says they are forgetful or they seem like they can accept that they are losing their mind then you have to decide what purpose telling them will serve. Remember, they don't necessarily remember new things, but my experience proves that they can remember new things that tick them off.

Best of luck finding the correct solution to your situation.

ADVERTISEMENT


JennaRose Jun 2020
I agree with AnnReid, no one benefits. My Mom who has alzheimer's/dementia (and is now 94) has told me on occasion that she is losing her mind and I try to comfort her and say something like "Mom, we are all getting older and being forgetful comes with old age"... That response makes her feel so much better.

AnnReid Jun 2020
How would you or she benefit if she were to be told?

If she knows that she isn’t able to think as well or as clearly as she was in the past, there would be no certain approach available to help her get “better”.

If she doesn’t notice, attempting to tell her would be attempting to give her information that her already damaged brain would not necessarily be able to use, and could become a source of more depression and anxiety.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter