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Amy91763 Asked March 2020

How to get copy of my moms finances?

My mom was living with me. She has dementia. I had absolutely had no help
I had to send her to my sister's. She has her daughter and daughters friend living with her. She has spent all of my moms money in 2 years. How can I request copy of finances without an uproar. She does not like confrontation. My mom is now in hospice. There is no money. I don't have none for the expenses for funeral. What should I do? Legally what can I do?

JoAnn29 Mar 2020
Without a POA you will not be able to get copies of her finances and now its too late because Mom is not able to assign one.

Does Mom have a Will. If so and your Executor, you will be able to handle Moms finances then. A short certificate (thats what its called in my state, may be different in another) saying u can handle Moms finances. If no will, you maybe able to become an Administrator. Then you can get copies of her accounts and see where the money went. Maybe sister felt Mom should pay for living with her and sister doing the caring. In the end, you will at least know where the money went.

If Mom is cremated the cost is low. Where I live its $2300. If you have no service or viewing there is no cost there. If there is a lot, there will be a cost for opening it. Some places allow the person to be put in a lot of a LO who has already passed, but there maybe a cost there too. Or just hold onto the urn. You can have just a graveside service. You can have a Memorial later on. Rent a venue have some food and celebrate her life. Or just immediate family getting together for lunch or a dinner. I am finding that families now tend to go simple. Funerals are actually closer for them. Viewings just for friends to offer condolences.

AlvaDeer Mar 2020
If they spent all her money how are YOU responsible for the funeral? Let them handle the funeral. Costs can often be very low if you go to funeral homes and discuss the circumstances. You really cannot request copy of finances. At the point of your mother dying someone will have to file for probate if there are any funds, pay remaining bills, etc. Let that ALSO be them. Basically they have already ripped off your Mom. She will soon be at peace and no longer care. So sorry, but it is now too late to do anything about this unless some estate is left; sounds as though there may not be. If sister and her dauhter's friend file probate, that is a public document, and you can proceed from there.
FloridaDD Mar 2020
Hard to say if they ripped off, we don't know how much money mom had and they provided care for 2 years when OP could not.

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