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Vddtn1 Asked February 2020

I am looking for a caregiver that will care for my mother in her home in exchange for room and board in her home. She resides in Indiana.

The selected caregiver will have access to her car and is welcome to use any of the household facilities. I am looking for someone who will engage my mothers mind thru conversation, games, puzzles etc. My mother has the ability to take care of herself for the most part, but will require assistance moving in and out of the house, she has occasional bouts of dizziness and becomes unstable on her feet. I am looking for a caregiver who understands and is patient to the needs of a person with early onset Alzheimer's.

Lvnsm1826 Feb 2020
Either hire a professional care person or go to Assisted Living. If she can't afford care, look into Medicaid.

Vddtn1 Feb 2020
Thank You everyone for all the feedback, I have not thought a lot about the legal ramifications of my proposed course of action. The other issue I have is that my mothers husband has advanced altimeters and is in a nursing home currently, but I can’t get mother in the same home. She can’t stay by herself because she forgets to take medication and eat, not to mention that she is unstable on her feet at times, so I’m constantly afraid of her falling. I live in Florida and my mother does not want to be far from her husband, this is my dilemma. How do I get her the care she needs and keep her safe and close to her husband?

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Geaton777 Feb 2020
Vddtn1, it is such a challenge to figure out what the best care is for an affordable price when it comes to our LOs. In my family's personal experience the live-in caregiver was a predator (a "sweet" older lady, recommended by an acquaintence!) who cleaned him out financially, had him sign over the PoA, house, assets and literally even took his dog. I have personally had (and am still having) a great experience with a reputable in-home care agency that vets their people and have accountability and insurance and subs, etc. (FYI Visiting Angels, a national franchise). Finding a total stranger to care for a vulnerable person is just asking for trouble, as well as making you an employer and causing more admin work for you in other ways. Many of us have been and are in your same situation, so we get it. I wish you success in finding the right solution for your LO's care!

TXGirl82 Feb 2020
This is not the way to handle finding care for an elder parent. Please don't feel too beat-up by some of the responses here. You may be overwhelmed by the task of getting care for your mom and this is one of your first ideas.

Tell us more about your situation. There are some really experienced, resourceful people on this board.

The idea you have floated won't work, even if you could find a reliable person (who isn't a criminal, a drug addict, etc,) with the qualifications you've listed.

anonymous1010889 Feb 2020
The forum recently had a person who hired a live-in that then refused to leave the home once the caregiving term had ended, creating a stressful and dangerous situation requiring legal eviction. The people on the forum have lived it and supported others as they’ve gone through it. They just want you to be aware of all the potential liabilities you are setting yourself up for. I understand that agencies are not cheap, but in the long run they are the better choice for all the reasons mentioned on here.

gladimhere Feb 2020
Call the Area Agency on Aging to see if there may be programs that mom would qualify for. What you are proposing is illegal. Would you take on a 24/7 stressful job for room and board which in my area would have a value of $1,200.00 to $2,000.00 a month? The value of 24/7 in home care, in my area is in the $10,000.00 a month range.

There are minimum hourly wage laws and requirements for overtime pay.

JoAnn29 Feb 2020
I think it may be time to find a nice AL for Mom. She will only worsen and the sooner she gets used to the AL as home the better.

worriedinCali Feb 2020
It’s illegal to offer room & board only, in fact....it’s modern day slavery. You have to pay the person a salary + room & board.

Sunnygirl1 Feb 2020
Caring for people who have ailments like dementia, poor balance, etc. can be very time consuming. Also, they often can resist suggestions and not want to use good safety measures. They also may repeat things a lot, have sleep disorders, and have poor impulse control. I'd spend a lot of time around your LO who has early dementia, because, sometimes, they can be quite disagreeable in this stage. They may argue with anything for no reason, Make up accusations about things that they imagine, etc. It would be a lot for a total stranger to tolerate. It can be very stressful for a caregiver. Plus, they feel on duty 24/7. And, if they get hurt, would they hold you responsible? I'd see an attorney about it first, before hiring anyone to live in the home. What if they are poor caregivers and you want to fire them, but, they refuse to move out? What would you do legally then? I'd really get all the information from an attorney about the options, first.

Isthisrealyreal Feb 2020
You get what you pay for.

It is quite unfair to offer room and board with the use of the house for fulltime care of an alzheimers patient. Honestly, what you are asking is akin to slavery.

People have bills and needs that your offer doesn't cover. You should check into a viable weekly salary to ensure that you don't end up with a loser living in your moms house and not really helping, because I promise you that the day to day reality will make this arrangement unacceptable in short order.

FloridaDD Feb 2020
This question comes up every now and then.  You are not likely to find anyone to take this job for room and board, but will have to make other arrangements.
Riverdale Feb 2020
I know. This question and ones about trying to hide assets from Medicaid are probably the 2 worst questions to ask. I doubt poster will come back.

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