My mom has dementia, and is getting worse! She is very sweet but insecure, negative and 95yrs old... how to help?
Need any advice on how to tell mom that we're moving her into assisted living. When mom doesn't use her walker, she falls (sometimes) it's going to break her heart and I don't know quite how to tell her!
Just adding my support to the experienced suggestions posted below. I really like the "therapeutic fib" approach which should work well in your situation. Keep your eyes on the prize: she'll be safe and well-cared for and you will have peace of mind and your mental and physical and emotional health intact. That's the best that can happen now as you both journey down this path. Blessings to you!
My mother had a slight stroke, she was having panic attacks as she thought she was going to die...she is only 94...why worry...right?
Anyway, we just told her, she is moving to Florida and going into AL, she wasn't happy, so she has been there for 1 month...and...drum roll please...she loves it! 24/7 service, food, house keeping, med care and shuttles to take her around!
She will be upset, but, she will forget about it , her heart will not be broken.
It is wise to not call her 20 times a day or visit daily for a week or two so she can acclimate to her new surrounding, the home needs some time to figure her out and make a doable plan for her.
If her dementia is at all advanced it will do no good to try and reason with her. Nothing will stick in her mind. You may have to fib a bit. With my mom I told her assisted living was just for physical therapy until she got better. I got dad in the same place by telling him mom needed him to stay there and help her.
It was still a big hot mess for a few weeks but at some point you can no longer do what elders want, you have to do what is needed. There was absolutely no way my folks were safe at home.
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Anyway, we just told her, she is moving to Florida and going into AL, she wasn't happy, so she has been there for 1 month...and...drum roll please...she loves it! 24/7 service, food, house keeping, med care and shuttles to take her around!
She will be upset, but, she will forget about it , her heart will not be broken.
It is wise to not call her 20 times a day or visit daily for a week or two so she can acclimate to her new surrounding, the home needs some time to figure her out and make a doable plan for her.
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It was still a big hot mess for a few weeks but at some point you can no longer do what elders want, you have to do what is needed. There was absolutely no way my folks were safe at home.